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Clarity in Feedback

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I love feedback. I get to learn and grow.

 

Sometimes they make me reevaluate my purpose and direction. Is what I said offensive? Do I need to be more compassionate? Do I need to adjust in any way?

 

I have worked to create a safe space for us all to be authentic in our experiences and challenges. There have been a few comments and questions asking,” Why do we need permission to be ourselves?” Or, “Isn’t this focus on self adding to the division in our society?” I figure this is as good of a place to address the thoughts as any 🙂

 

“Permission to be you. Always.” was born out of experience. So many of the people I’ve worked with have had to hide who they truly feel they are from those around them. There are so many stories and painful life moments. Yet each one has found strength when they shrug off the expectations of others and find their personal truth. Their challenge was learning it’s OK to shrug it off and choose their own path. Having lived in it for so long meant they needed permission and support in finding their core truth and values.

 

In this vein of thought, I can totally see why someone would think it adds to the divide in our society. Someone finding their individualism separate from the whole.

 

What I teach has a balance. And this balance comes from learning self-ownership in how things became the way they were. We refer to this as “owning your shit.” While you get to be authentically you, you have the responsibility to own your actions. Your emotions.

 

You are the only one who knows your personal experience and if you don’t express your thoughts and needs you can’t blame someone else for failing to read your mind and assist your healing. If you’re annoyed someone doesn’t show up on time… check yourself. Do you? How can you be angry at someone for doing something you do too?

 

Did you just get into a verbal altercation? Why? If you’re above a 3 the issue is yours, not theirs. What is the challenge and fear you are facing? Let’s talk about that.

 

Ownership.

 

And this ownership brings about awareness and compassion. “Wow, I really went off and I’m sorry. Can we talk about what’s going on for me?” Which can lead to compassion, “Yeah I know, that sucks. I fully understand why you were so upset. How you treated me is not ok so how can we address this the next time it comes up?”

 

The beautiful thing is, they learn not only ownership but compassion. And If you can grant that to yourself can you imagine the shift when you grant it to those around you? We live in a beautiful moment in time. A moment where self-expression can be embraced and inclusivity can heal countless wounds. The pointing fingers are dropped and understanding reigns.

 

It’s not a weapon used to divide, it’s a way to come together. You be you and own your shit. I’ll be me and own mine. We’ll recognize we’re all broken and trying to live our best lives possible. I don’t need to change you. And you don’t need to change me. Let’s accept each other exactly as we are. And together we can make this world a better place than we found it.

 

 

                                         with love,

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