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Challenging Our Boxes (2 of 3)


This is the second installment of a three-part series on how to break free from the boxes we were born into in order to live the truest, authentic life possible. Check back each week for the next segment.


I stand in both places.


I have been that youth, learning, growing, stretching, and testing the boundaries.


I am also a parent. I spent countless hours praying, hoping, striving to help my children “find their way.” 


The energy going into life from each perspective is immense. 


We often only see it from our own, rarely taking the moment to see what another is thinking, seeing, or feeling. This is how a parent knows their children will understand when they have children of their own. Because they have now experienced both sides of that coin.


As a child, I learned from my parents who learned from theirs, and on and on and on. Each generation saying, “I’m going to do things differently than my parents did”. And while the discipline or methods of teaching may change the core values often stay the same.


The challenge to parents is to raise the humans and to instill values and morals into the souls they’ve been entrusted with. While the parental units do the best with the tools and understanding they have, kids are individuals and have minds, and beliefs of their own. They grow and learn about their place in the world and how they want to be a part of it.


While some are able to accept regulations, many need to test the rules and boundaries. Just accepting “things are the way they are” is an impossible feat and the need to know why prevails; breaking a rule to understand how or why it became a rule. As the dust settles one may ask, “Is this a rule I agree with?” When it’s a home or family rule testing is much safer than challenging an enforceable law and yet people are constantly exploring.


We live in a unique time.


Everyone is trying to define who they are, what they want to be, how they want to live. In the past, there have been boxes. These defined spaces a human is “supposed” to operate in. Husband/wife, worker/nurturer, teacher/student, race, religion, gender, They are all ways to keep us divided and separate. Me vs. you. 


These roles don’t work anymore. 


It’s not that tradition is dead and gone, we’re creating new ones. We’re working to figure out who we are and how we “fit in,” or don’t. 


No one taught us how to break the boxes, this is a new shift. Our belief is that our parents lived in the boxes, they worked, played, and operated with their titles and knowledge of security within. They seem safe and comfortable in their defined roles. 


Yet perhaps they did test the boundaries and found this path is the one they feel best in, that brings them the most comfort. Just as we ask for compassion and understanding in our own growth we have to grant that same gift to those around us.


We ALL are learning. We ALL are growing.


And what truly matters is what’s inside. Who you are. We need to get right with ourselves before we can even hope to help someone else. As long as we are pointing fingers at others saying “YOU” we are failing to take responsibility for the “Me”.


So let’s start within.


How do you truly feel? Where do you stand? What brings you peace?


Where does the authentic, sincere YOU reside?


This is the second installment of a three-part series on how to break free from the boxes we were born into in order to live the truest, authentic life possible. Check back next week for the third and final segment.


                                         with love,


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