Every single one of us has a masculine AND feminine side – no matter our assigned sex at birth. Embracing every single part of yourself means allowing yourself to express both of these sides when it feels right – no matter what anyone else thinks.
Think meditation is hard? Do me a favor, take a slow deep breath in and now breathe out. Congratulations! You just meditated. Hi, I’m Krystal Jakosky and this is Breathe In, Breathe Out a weekly mindfulness and meditation podcast for anyone ready to own their own shit and find a little peace while doing it.
Hello and welcome back to Breathe In, Breathe Out. I’m Krystal Jakosky. I’m so excited that you’re here right now. I happen to be curled up inside a gigantic Teddy bear. He’s hugging me. His head is on my head and I just feel so comfy and grounded and it really kind of feels perfect for the topic that I want to talk about today, which is the masculine and feminine inside every single one of us.
So I was born female. I have all of the anatomy of a woman and curling up in this Teddy bear feels very, just comforting and kind of feminine in just the way that it makes me feel. It just fills my heart and makes me happy and makes me smile. If you could see me right now, you’d probably chuckle and laugh and I’m sure that there’s a picture out there somewhere that you could find.Read More
When you think stereotypical feminine, a lot of people will use words like nurturing, tender, kind, maybe surrender, sensitive, emotional. Sometimes people will say the word catty or cyclical in a very negative way. Insert here any other things that you typically think of when you’re thinking of stereotypical feminine traits, some of the negative aspects of a feminine nature, sometimes people will say stuff like weak or manipulative or victims or dependent, needy, those kinds of things. So there’s these positive and negative traits that are stereotypically attributed to the feminine gender.
Then when you shift over and you take a minute and you start to talk about the stereotypical masculine, and I’m saying that in air quotes, the stereotypical masculine gender, they’ll talk about confidence and strength and logical, supportive. They’ll talk about courage and discipline, maybe assertive, very powerful. The negative traits, stereotypically attributed to the masculine male energy are things like abusive or dominant or controlling, aggressive. I’m sure if you just sat down for a minute, you could come up with a whole bunch more, so many more stereotypical traits, whether they be positive or negative on the masculine or the feminine side of things.
I teach a class and I teach a few classes, but this is my favorite class to teach when I have a group of people, especially if it is a mixed class. So we have all genders, everyone, and all sexual relations. I really love it when we have just this mixed bag of people in there.
And I teach this class because what’s beautiful about it is, we all contribute our thoughts about divine, masculine and feminine. We all contribute the stereotypical traits that people think of when they think of masculine and feminine and how masculine and feminine are, “supposed to act.”
So a person who is born as a female is “supposed” to act a certain way. And a person who is born masculine is “supposed” to act another way and they are supposed to be different. And someone who is born masculine is not necessarily supposed to exhibit any of those feminine traits, or they are looked down upon because they are not masculine enough. And vice versa, a person who is feminine or born female, excuse me, and exhibits any masculine traits. Then they are also looked down upon because they are not feminine enough in their attitudes and their behaviors.
This concept drives me nuts. It absolutely just rubs me the wrong way, because I strongly believe that we all have both of those sides and traits in each and every one of us. And that we need to have traits from both sides in us. Otherwise we would not be able to function. If you really seriously look at these stereotypical definitions of a masculine person and somebody is living only in their stereotypical masculine definition. That’s, it’s just mind-boggling. I do not believe that anybody can seriously, always be this confident and strong and assertive and all that stuff and not express emotion because they are going to be sad sometimes. And they are going to need to figure out how to release anger and upset and fear and all of the other emotional sides that are stereotypically feminine.
And on the other side, a woman who asserts any kind of strength and knowledge and just assertiveness can be labeled as just. I don’t like any of the labels. I really don’t like any of the words. They’re just not feminine enough, which in and of itself is supposedly wrong.
I myself love to get a drill and just build things. I love to get down and dirty. I love to drive the tractor on the farm. I love to pull weeds. I love to build a walkway or something new. I love to create, the building is typically masculine. The creativity is typically feminine. I have worked to find a balance between the two of those, and I strongly believe that everybody needs to work to find the balance between the two of them.
I love seeing a woman embrace her masculine side. I love watching that strength and that confidence and that protectiveness and, and just stepping into her truth in that moment.
And I absolutely love seeing a male step into his feminine side and feel emotional. I love when men decide that they would rather enjoy some soft clothing than the traditionally tight stuffy, stiff itchy kind of clothing.
Wear what makes you feel comfortable. And everybody else can just leave you alone, because that is you. And that is what makes you feel comfortable. That is what brings you joy. So if you are embracing the fact that you have both masculine and feminine, then you yourself will feel freer and more expressed and more open and joyous in life. I think that when we start to squash that other side of us, we say, well, I am “supposed” to be this way or “supposed” to be that way. And we squash the part of us that wants to be visible. That’s when we start to feel sad, that’s when we start to feel angry and frustrated and irritated because we are not allowed to fully step into our own truth on our own reality.
I believe that there are so many different moments in life that call for the different sides leading. If I am here and I decide that I am working with a client and they need additional love and compassion then I am going to lead with my feminine side. And I am going to say, “Hey, I am here. I am nurturing you. I am a safe space for you to be able to express and heal.” And I’m so grateful that I have that feminine side to be able to nurture and help and guide people through that. I also, in those moments, have a very masculine side that comes forth and is protective of both me and the client that I am working with because we need that protection. And that safety in that moment of healing and change.
There are also times when I might need to hang some pictures and I may need to paint a room and I may need to move a bunch of furniture around. And all of those times I am going to let my masculine lead because I need that added strength and that added confidence and that added direction in let’s just go and get it done. I think that everyone should find that balance.
I would love it if we had a world where everybody said, “Yeah, I’m both masculine and feminine and whatever side needs to lead right now is the side that’s going to lead.” And in allowing that, you find new self care, it is so amazing because it just goes deeper. It just goes into this, you know what? My masculine side right now really needs to be emotional. So I’m going to allow him that. My feminine side needs a little extra confidence and strength, so I’m going to give her that. And I’m going to borrow a little bit from my masculine in order to give her what she needs. And I’m going to borrow a little for my feminine to give him what he needs. And because they’re crossing that line because they’re nurturing each other, we have now just become one divine soul. Nurturing from both sides of the line, nurturing from whatever space it is that you need.
Have you ever just kind of sat back and thought about it? Have you ever just sat back and thought, you know what, today I really, for me today, I really want to wear a dress and I want to look girly and feminine. And I just want to bring out that sexy deliciousness. And then there are other days that I’m like, you know what? I think I’m just going to wear my shorts and my t-shirt and it’s going to be all down and dirty. Just get stuff done. Cause that’s what I want to feel.
If everybody could do that. If everybody could just say, yeah, this is how I am and I’m totally cool. And when you go to the grocery store and you see a guy in a dress it’s oh, that is so cool because you totally just embraced exactly what you feel and exactly where you’re at. And I absolutely love that. And it’s beautiful. And when you see a girl with short hair and she’s in coveralls and you’re like, dang, you go girl, because that’s just the way it is in that moment.
And you are allowing yourself that understanding and that compassion to just express the way you want to express. Ugh. Can you imagine the freedom? Can you imagine the joy? Can you imagine how much more lighthearted the world would be? If we could all just accept ourselves in whatever space we’re in at that moment, and also extend that same love and compassion to the next person.
If I want to dress a certain way today, you by george can dress exactly how you want to dress as well. And it doesn’t matter because we are both working towards balance and understanding. We are both living this beautiful gift that we call life. And because we are giving each other understanding and compassion, because we are allowing each other to express in the way that we personally want to express in this moment.
Think of the shift.
I sincerely pray for a world that’s filled with people who own who they are and are strong enough in that space that they can allow other people to do the same. I sincerely hope and pray that you are able to find that for yourself and not only find that, but give yourself the confidence and permission to be in the space that you want to be in. That you need to be in your masculine side, your feminine side, they both need to be expressed.
And I am not saying that you have to choose a gender to do that. I am saying that no matter what, in your expression, you have strong and confident and emotional and gentle and nurturing and courageous pieces. And finding that balance within yourself and choosing to lead forward with whatever that is that comes out, is how we heal ourselves and therefore heal the world.
So I send you my love. I send you my encouragement. I send you my hope that we can all just embrace it, embrace exactly where we are and find joy in that moment. You have my permission. You have my acceptance and I pray and hope that you give yourself the same permission and the same acceptance.
I really hope that you come back next week because I will be doing a guided meditation where you get to meet your masculine and your feminine side, and you will get to see them just come together and all of the beauty that they are. Seeing them reside within you and finding that balance until then take care, take note, and choose to be the change.
I hope this moment of self care and healing brought you some hope and peace. I’m Krystal Jakosky on Instagram, Facebook, and YouTube. And I hope you check us out and follow along for more content coming, soon. I look forward to being with you again here on Breathe In Breathe Out. Until next time, take care.