When we’re eager to reach our goals, it can seem like the finish line is forever away. This week’s episode of Breathe In, Breathe Out reminds you that even though beautiful, lasting change can take time, it’s helpful to stop and look around every once in a while to see how far you’ve come.
Think meditation is hard? Do me a favor, take a slow deep breath in and now breathe out. Congratulations. You just meditated. Hi, I’m Krystal Jakosky and this is Breathe In, Breathe Out: a weekly mindfulness and meditation podcast for anyone ready to own their own shit and find a little peace while doing it.
Welcome back to Breathe In, Breathe Out. I’m Krystal Jakosky and I’m just really glad you’re here to join with me on another episode and just enjoy a little bit of time to kick back. I went to Arches National Park in Southern Utah with my dad, step-mom, and my husband, if you’ve never been, it is amazing. It is just all inspiring and it leaves you just, I don’t know, it blew me away. Obviously, it leaves me a little bit speechless, which as you know, is not necessarily something I have to deal with.
Very often we would stop along the road and I would get out and read every one of the placards that I could. I wanted to read and learn and know everything about arches that I could know. I was excited to take all of this in. I was excited to learn and grow and understand how these had been made and, and what had happened and how the earth naturally just created these unbelievable structures that just left me humbled and yet giddy as a little kid.
We pulled over at this one. If you’ve been there, you might know exactly what I’m talking about. I think it’s called the Twin Arches or the Double Arch, or I don’t know. I got out of the truck. Somebody went to the bathroom and I decided I was just gonna walk down to this arch because I wanted to be closer. I wanted to be in it. I wanted to be like just right there. So I just started walking and partway through.
I stopped and I looked back and I felt a little bit guilty for leaving everybody in the truck. And then I decided I really didn’t care. I’m just going. So I kept going so that I could just get closer to this arch. And as I got closer, I was giggling and laughing and it just hit me like a ton of breaks that change really takes time.
In this case, the change took millions of years – like 300 million years it took to create these arches. And some of them were created by wind blowing through the rock and eroding it. Others were created by water that would trickle through the rock and eroded and leave these arches. Most of the time, it was a very slow process. And yet on occasion, a large chunk of rock would just fall out of it. And you would be left with this beautiful formation, regardless, even if it was a large chunk of rock that fell, there was some kind of water or wind that was trickling enough to weaken it so that it could fall out. And I just, you know, our lives, we’re kids and we’re growing up in life and we’re learning and exploring. And, and our brains are focused on this prize of when we leave the nest.
And when we’ve graduated from high school and we get to start “adulting” and we get to make our own choices and everybody else can just screw off because now it’s our own choice in our own decisions. And we get to live the life that we want to live, and everything is focused on that. Nothing else matters. And we’re really frustrated that it’s taking forever and life goes so slowly and we just wish that it would speed up a little bit. And then all of a sudden, one day it’s there and it’s time to move out. And it’s time to adult.
You have a car payment or a rent payment or utilities, or like whatever it is, all of a sudden you are adulting. You are living the life and this life is there. And it seems like it happened really, really quickly. What’s going on on the other side though, is that these parental units that have been raising you have been watching you and they have been watching these immense changes that have been going on the entire time that you’ve been growing up because they were holding a little baby.
And then all of a sudden that baby was rolling around and it was crawling. And then it was walking, running, riding a bicycle. One day, it’s driving a car. Now they have a job and they have friends and their friends are more important than being at home and hanging out with mom and dad. And all of a sudden they’re gone and the adults are going, wait a minute. How did that happen? It was so freaking fast and the kids are going, “oh, it’s about time.”
Change can be super fast and it can seem like it takes forever. But the bottom line is the change is always happening. Whether it’s a slow build or a giant wake-up call, it’s just happening. It’s like that relationship, whether it’s been going poorly for a really long time and you know that it’s no good for you, but you haven’t really decided to get out of it.
Or maybe it’s the breakup that happens all of a sudden. You’re going, “What the hell just happened?” Maybe it’s that job that’s a little bit toxic or you’re not feeling fulfilled and joyful in the work you’re doing. And whether you choose to quit or you’re fired, all of a sudden things are changed and it’s different and you have a new opportunity. Losing a loved one, whether it’s a long-term illness or something very sudden and shocking, it all happens. It’s a shift.
Over the past couple of weeks, we’ve been talking about the boxes that we were raised in and the boxes that because of our experiences and emotions, we continue living in, we continue experiencing them. And change really applies here too, because we have the choice to continue choosing into those boxes. Or we have the choice to change.
What’s going on? Change our point of view, change our own values. What do we want to keep? And what do we want to let go of when that happens? When we are presented with that, it can seem like it’s impossible to change people around us. The community, family, religion may seem like it’s just holding us in there and you really want to change. You really want to drop off that chunk of an arch and say, “oh, that’s not me anymore. I’m moving on.”
And yet you might feel like you are being held inside. You can change, take a tiny step. What is your end goal? Where do you want to be? And what tiny steps can you take now to make that happen? Is there a conversation with someone? Is it a shift in how you present yourself in a relationship? Is it learning how to build up your own self-esteem and self-worth so that you can now stand stronger instead of just following what you’ve been told?
What little things can you personally do right now? Because it’s possible. You just have to choose it, choosing to do it can be difficult choosing to make that change. Choosing to take that first step, choosing to say, Nope, this is not where I want to be anymore. I want to alter that. Start small. Start with the little water trickling through what little steps can you do now that will yield big results later.
If you personally want to change your job, make things better, make things different. Maybe it’s learning a new skill right now. Maybe it’s that you need to take a class or self-study so that you can gain a new skill, gain a new understanding so that you can then apply for a job in a position that makes you happy. That brings you so much joy and makes you feel fulfilled, that you are contributing in a way that makes your heart soar.
What if it’s time to move out? If it’s time to change your home, how are you going to do that? What can you do right now? That will help you shift that later. You don’t have to do it all at once. It doesn’t have to be big bites. Take a moment and visualize what is the end goal? Where do you want to be? And then walk that back. If you want to be there later, what steps need to happen?
It’s like eating an elephant one bite at a time. You can’t do the whole thing, but you can. Little steps, changes are absolutely possible. There’s no reason for you to be stuck in a box. There’s no reason for you to hold back. There is no reason for you to choose, to continue acquiescing to someone else’s request. You don’t have to be what somebody else wants you to be.
You get to choose to be what you want to be. And the way you do that as small steps, one by one, and those small steps, encourage more steps, encourage more steps. And before you know it, you have this huge shift, this huge change. And then life is fantastic.
I look forward to your shifts. I look forward to your changes. I look forward to you taking control and feeling more empowered in your life to move forward on what it is that will help you live the best life that you can possibly live. Find some joy own, who you are, own your own experience in life and start creating something that is even more fabulous and wonderful than you could ever imagine.
I hope this moment of self-care and healing brought you some hope and peace. I’m Krystal Jakosky on Instagram, Facebook, and YouTube and I hope you check us out and follow along for more content coming soon. I look forward to being with you again, here on Breathe In, Breathe Out. Until next time, take care.