Fiddly /ˈfidlē/ (adjective):
Cambridge Dictionary: Difficult to do because the parts are small.
Oxford Languages: complicated or detailed and awkward to do.
Merriam Webster: Requiring close attention to detail.
My husband and I are huge on end-of-life planning.
When his grandparents passed they had a little in place, and yet, there was still so much to wrap our arms around. He spent hours which turned into weeks and then into months and months and months dealing with all of the details and issues that came up. It was so tiring and frustrating in the midst of acknowledging the loss.
It triggered a desire in us to make it easier for whoever would follow us. We’ve ensured all of the wills and power of attorneys and medical documents are readily available. We keep things updated and current so it’s clear and hopefully less stressful.
There are questions you may never have thought to ask, to answer. And your age doesn’t matter. Someone has to step in and end the automatic withdrawals for subscriptions, cell phones, utilities, etc. Someone has to take care of what you leave behind. And they’re already dealing with your loss. What can you do now to prepare for then?
It’s not something we really talk about. People find it morbid and would rather ignore the inevitable possibility. Spoiler alert – whether it’s a humble meeting with your maker or a slide into home saying, “That was a wild ride!” -we all end up there eventually.
So, how can we turn this difficult subject into an inspiring one? Let’s look at things from a different point of view.
When you finally leave this world – hopefully, decades from now – what would you like people to say about the person you were? What will your remembrance be like? And is there anything you’d like to change?
I recently talked about personal training and maintaining this physical body I live in. I want to be a strong and capable human long into my wrinkling grandma years. Holding my grandkids and great-great grandkids as they come along. Loving and nurturing those around me with kindness and hope. Actively enjoying all life has to offer with gratitude and joy.
I pray the ripples I leave in this earthly pond are ones of hope and healing. I seek to bring about positive change through compassion and personal understanding. I aspire to inspire and shine light in the darkness. And when I move on from this existence I hope people say, “Wow! She was amazing! I’m glad I got to know her and she inspired me to be a more compassionate human.”
What can I do today to make tomorrow better?
So I allow the sincere compliments to flow, bringing a smile to a stranger’s face and joy to their heart. I tickle a child and play wizards and witches in the garden. I mail a card to let someone know I love them. I seek out ways to serve and support.
How can I be more positive? How can I be a spot of light and love in this world?
It’s not about the material things. They don’t matter. It’s all just stuff.
Memories last forever. They live on, not only in the hearts of people who knew you, but in the stories they tell about how your existence changed them. And by sharing the stories, you continue to live on. I mean, have you read about my “Aunt” Olive? She may have passed a long time ago and you may have never met her, and yet, even now, she can inspire people through her inspiration of me.
How will people remember you?
And how would you like to be remembered?
If you’re unsure, you can always ask. Open up the dialogue.
Who will most likely be the one tying up your loose ends when you’re gone? What instructions and documentation will they need to make things easier? And then you can ask, How will they remember you?
And if you’re the one who will be taking care of someone’s final wishes, do you have the information you need? Is the other person willing to have a conversation about the fiddly bits and what you need to know so you can grieve easier while managing the additional responsibilities?
I’m not entirely sure where we go or what happens when we die. What I choose to believe is that my spirit, my energy is released and every person who loves me and carries me in their hearts gets a tiny part of that energy to hug and hold dear. And I, in response, get to give hugs and nudges and assistance on their continued journey, just by being a part of them.
And if that’s the case? It makes total sense when you can feel your loved one around you, hear their voice, smell a memory… because they literally are, right there.
Create your reality.
Live a life you’re proud of. Heal those difficult relationships so that when the time comes you hold only love and peace for the adventure you’ve enjoyed. No regrets 🙂
- When you finally leave this world -hopefully, decades from now – what would you like people to say about the person you were?
- What will your remembrance be like?
- Is there anything you’d like to change about your life before you move on?