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How Do You Define Yourself?

Last week I mused about how our choices bring us to where we are in life. Living situation, relationships, work…everything is a product of the plethora of choices we have made.

This week the theme has continued so I’m diving a bit deeper.

A while ago I was working on a project transposing some written documents. There was a recurring phrase and theme within them and, as I worked word for word, I repeatedly echoed these sentiments. The project went on for some time and I noticed I was often tired and feeling down. There was no explanation for the shift in mood and energy. I was eating the same foods, sleeping the same, doing well on all other accounts. At the end of a day, I would feel accomplished with the amount I had succeeded in doing, so the next opportunity would find me typing away.

One day, as I worked through another book, it hit me. Every time I typed this phrase or statement I was taking on those feelings and emotions. Typing “I am…”, while someone else’s words, became my mantra too.

I am happy.

I am sad.

I am exhausted.

I am emotional.

I am depressed.

It was like the emotion came off the page and I was embodying the energy. I was typing it which meant I was thinking it and therefore they were “my words” manifesting into my actions.

How do you define yourself?

I recently went to a Physical therapy appointment with my mom. I absolutely LOVE her therapist and while we were there she talked about how our brains work. She said that once you’ve thought “I’m going to fall” your chances of actually falling go way up. It’s as though thinking it, puts the possibility into motion and you need to take precautions to avoid the mishap.

This is a concept I have believed in for a long time and it works in positive and negative ways. Your thoughts create the actions and possibilities to come.

It truly starts as children. We come into the world and we are taught beliefs and values held by our parents. We listen and adopt these thoughts and feelings and emulate them as we continue to age and mature. Often there are recurring themes and we absorb the thoughts and beliefs of others as our own.

Perhaps you were told you were too emotional, too fat, immature, hyper, slow, too this, too that, and it leads to a belief in your own inadequacy in one realm or another.

Maybe you were told how smart, how pretty, brave, special, funny, strong, creative, imaginative you were and now you thrive in those areas.

What you repeat in your mind becomes the reality you live. Think about the statements you tell yourself, the recurrent comments in your mind. Look at where you feel positive and confident in yourself. What words go through your mind to support these beliefs? And likewise, what repetitive statements play when you feel “less than.”

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Like ripples in a pond.

On a recent outing, Jay saw a magazine with “Self-Care” in bold letters on the cover. He bought it as he wanted to see if it held more tools and ideas to support my mission.

It did.

Right now my favorite idea centers around the little voice in our heads. You know the one. It tells you you can’t do this or you’re not that. It’s the voice that holds us back and keeps us small. It’s also the voice saying you can absolutely do something with unprecedented confidence.

The concept is fostering positivity by “arguing with the negative side of it”. As the thoughts in our minds create our realities, any time the voice comes in with a negative idea, and stops you from being the amazing human being that is you, argue with it.

When it says “you can’t” tell it all the ways “you can”. When it says “you’re not,” tell it how “you ARE.” Let the “Negative Nelly” know who’s boss and completely turn the demeaning self-talk into a positive manifestation of your new reality.

Try it once.

Then again.

And soon you’ll find you’re experiencing loving, supportive thoughts towards yourself.

Your supportive thoughts become uplifting words.

Uplifting words beget kind actions.

Kind actions become daily habits.

Your habits turn into your nurturing values.

And your nurturing values reveal your compassionate destiny.

As you gift yourself with more love and self-acceptance you radiate this sense of peace and kindness to those around you which, like ripples in a pond, positively affect the world. Giving yourself permission for self-acceptance and love is a beacon. You get to help light the way through choppy waters into stillness and joy.

I pray your every argument with that “little voice” is constructive and life-changing 🙂

It all starts with a thought…


                                         with love,


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