I have a few taglines. They come out of nowhere, and yet I think that’s how most good ones come to be.

I was working out how to explain what I do and “I teach people how to own their shit” bubbled out. My husband belly laughed and latched onto it. He loved the idea and – after I got over the idea of using “a cuss word” as a business model – I love it too.

The reaction is a mix of surprise and delight followed by an inquiry of what it means. So, I figured I’d put it in writing for all to read and understand.

In “Planes, Trains, and Panic Attacks” (my musing from last week), I wrote about a very personal experience. I had a panic attack in the airport as I was preparing to go on a much-needed vacation. Feel free to go read it and share the experience: http://krystaljakosky.com/planes-trains-panic-attacks/

This was a moment of surprise, a moment of learning, and a reminder of the need to shift. It also reminded me to own my shit and figure out what self-care was required so I could find peace and healing in the moment.

This experience fully embodies what my tagline means.

When we begin to understand our own inner thoughts and feelings, we are calmer, more compassionate human beings. Instead of playing the blame game, we recognize our own needs and find ways to meet them. We become personally responsible for our own actions and self-care. We begin healing our insecurities and stop seeking approval from others. Transforming painful patterns which keep us stuck helps us find freedom in self-expression and joyful living.

Owning your shit means YOU are the one who can bring about the change. YOU have the power to shift the mentality. YOU get to be the magic pill that flips life on its head and breaks through the personal chains holding you back.

It means you realize, understand, and fully embrace the fact that you are worth “it.”

Now, what is “it,” you ask?

“It” is self-respect. It’s nurturing. It’s understanding you have patterns and rhythms and needs. It’s understanding the challenges unique to you and learning ways to heal them. A life you love is totally possible when you embrace your own shift. 

Yes, I meant to say shift 🙂 

Things won’t get any better continuing the way they are. Expecting everyone around you to change is wasted energy and leaves you frustrated and annoyed. Waiting for others to understand how they’ve hurt you and keeping the relationship on hold pending an apology will just keep the wound open. 

Learning how to understand, validate and respect your own feelings expands and deepens relationships. Developing new ways to communicate allows you to feel fully expressed and more grounded and calm. Increasing your scope of what activities improve your mood and ability to cope encourages more self-care and promotes healthy self-respect, which feeds back into self-worth and permission to live your most authentic life. And thus you’re owning your shit.

Do you see how it works?

If everyone chose to own their shit do you see how the world would change? Can you imagine?!

By tuning in and owning it, you know what you need and how to fill those needs in positive and healthy ways. You treat yourself the way you want to be treated – with respect, love, and encouragement. Loving and accepting yourself, exactly as you are, means you spend less time seeking approval of others because you already have it. You recognize your own strengths and limits and honor them. Improved communication reduces frustration and upset, bringing about greater understanding and compassion. And the beautiful reality is that if we grant ourselves permission to be ourselves we naturally extend that same gift to others. 

We have been demanding change, but change starts within. A flame is sparked and before you know it, old beliefs are burned and new healing rises from the ash.

Owning your shit takes an open heart and a willingness to embrace a new way of being. It’s taking a pause in the middle of a panic attack to understand why it’s happening. What emotion lies behind the action? What self-care can I do in this public moment to help myself be better?

I hope you’ll join me in this transformation. I’m still learning and growing and look forward to what you can teach me. And I look forward to what you might learn along your way, too.