He Spoke to my Soul and I’m still mulling the conversation over.
Let me explain.
I strive to remind us ALL of our individual amazing uniqueness.
Each and every one of us is a beautiful thread in this tapestry of life and without all of the colors and shapes it would be one dull picture. Can you picture it?
My heart yearns to help people find their Heart Soul. This inner truth filled with love, nurturing and guidance towards your most authentic and joyfully filled existence. A connection you can tune into anytime and anywhere seeking support and encouragement.
This connection is to the Universal Energy, your higher Power, God, whatever you call it, it is Pure, Infinite Love.
I push myself hard. I want, so badly, to touch as many lives as possible in the most uplifting manner I am able. I sincerely feel it is my calling right here, right now.
I constantly check in and continue to grow. I learn new things, have additional insights, I seek knowledge and connection. I have an inner drive to “Be More”, “Do More” and yet this drive can be exhausting and frustrating.
What more am I supposed to “Be?”
What more am I supposed to “Do?”
And then I had a conversation with Michaell. The irony isn’t lost on me. The first time I asked about my “path” it was Archangel Michael who spoke to me. The interaction is one I hold dear. It warms my heart and reminds me I am absolutely on my own path and allowing is better than pushing to make things happen.
In my pushing I temporarily forget about the lesson and find myself confused, frustrated and drained. I question why this isn’t happening, or that. I cry as my emotions overwhelm me. I laugh at inopportune times and hope people don’t think I’ve lost my mind. I seek answers from trusted sources and guides, all outside of me and not as connected to my Guides as I am… and yet I seek.
There are moments I’m reminded to check within.
I know this.
The answers come from within. From the Higher Power, Universal Energy residing within me. No one else is having my experience and therefore no one else can give me the answers best suited for my journey. The thing is, checking in with that energy I can feel a bit… small. Uncertain. Scared.
Why scared, you ask? Because, I know they’ll tell me the most beneficial, positive, loving way to move forward and yet, I’m afraid of taking that step. I don’t even know what the step is. I just know I’m living one day at a time, not thriving yet not languishing. Each day I wonder if there’s something more and simultaneously know there is… I’m simply avoiding asking.
And then I spoke to a human Michaell. It was like the Universe saw me, heard me, knew me.
I’ve had this gut feeling that it was time to “Be” for a while. Allow what will happen to happen and embrace opportunity and possibility. Stop pushing and “doing”, time to Be.
Intuitively this idea feels really good. I find peace in it and I find I can take deeper breaths.
And then, another mind comes in asking, “But, What will you DO while you’re just BEing?”
At this point the peace has fled and I crumble into frustration. Right, I wanna Be and allow but you’re right, what will I Do while I’m waiting for that to happen?
Michaell reminded me, we are Human Beings. Society and systems have taught us we have to be Humans Doing. Succeed and achieve in order to be a productive and contributing member of society. My gift of bringing joy to people isn’t enough, I’m supposed to DO more. My ability to help people see challenges in a new light isn’t Doing. Arts and creativity isn’t Doing enough. Connecting with friends. Filling my own energetic cup with self-care. Personal introspection and growth. Baking cookies. Volunteering. Writing. Recording.
At what point have we Done enough? And at what point can we simply Be?
I can’t tell you how many times this question has come into my mind since our conversation. It’s become a bit of a mantra. And magically, when I ask it, I calm down and stop pushing. I start accepting and allowing. I can Be in the moment and find awe inspires me so easily.