I’m angry and frustrated. I want to yell, cuss and cry all at the same time. As I come down from my upset I realize this is the perfect time to share. An opportunity to let you in, and connect on a very human level.
In October of 2016, I was given a very clear vision of my future. I saw a beautiful property with flowing water, a bridge, very large old trees, a home, and a separate building for me to meet with clients. The vision was truly vivid and I remembered every detail. I felt the peace on this little lot of land and the vibrational excitement to have my husband and me there as caretakers. I literally saw where we would live, how life would be, and the beautiful people who would come. Every person needed something and they found it here, peace, love, healing, patience, understanding… This was truly a magical place.
The property was alive and wanted to be loved and nurtured. It promised to love and nurture us in return. I could physically feel the healing waiting to take place and the ache to open up to possibilities. The land spoke to me and I opened my heart to listen.
It took 7 months and a LOT of searching for us to find “Isabelle’s Rest”. Much patience, frustration and prayer went into letting the universe provide. At one point I gave up. I had been watching the new listings on multiple sites for months and in March of 2017 I tearfully told the Universe, “If this healing space is to be, you will have to bring it to me. I am stepping back.”
One evening in May I was cutting vegetables for dinner and a voice told me to check a specific site. I laughed and told the voice to leave me alone, I wasn’t in the mood for disappointment. I was in finals for massage therapy school, my youngest son was graduating, my husband had been out of town on business for weeks. I was a bit overwhelmed. The voice repeated the direction and I felt an intensity along with peace, so I followed the prompt.
I opened up the site and all of my previous criteria were saved. The first property had just been listed moments before. I looked through the pictures and sent it to my husband. He called our realtor and had an appointment to see it the very next day.
Jay arrived at the address and as they drove over the bridge before he even got out of the car, he knew this was the place in my vision. There was no doubt in his mind. The price even matched, which he found impossible to believe.
We put an offer in before the “for sale” sign went up in the yard, we were under contract by the end of the day and we signed the papers on my birthday. I could not believe it. It really happened. The vision was real. Everything manifested. Holy cow!
The excitement was unbelievable. I knew my path. I knew how things would happen. I knew I would be helping people learn to take control of their own lives and be their own magic pill. I would be helping transform lives and I couldn’t wait to get started.
But then… I learned I could and even more upsetting, I would wait. Our little piece of heaven had a history we weren’t aware of and we had a bit of red tape to work through. Including bringing the building I would be working in up to code. After almost 3 years of ups and downs, hopes then frustration, promises, and let downs, the building is finally complete.
I held my first classes the weekend they finished and my office saw clients the next week. The positive energy in the building is unmistakable and the spirit realm is so ready to partake in the healing of everyone prepared to do their own work.
This. Is. Amazing!
I am so grateful the challenges are behind us and I can move forward. No more waiting. Just healing and love.
We had been working on landscaping in anticipation of the new building. A couple of summers ago, we built a gazebo, a lawn area, a fire pit, a walkway, and a large labyrinth. The Labyrinth wanted to be beneath a giant crack willow. I call her Grandmother Willow. While the labyrinth is 30 feet across the willow spreads her protective branches over the entire maze. You feel cradled as you walk the path contemplating and meditating. She just holds you and reassures you as you move towards healing those dark inner parts.
My nieces helped with the labyrinth and the next summer my brothers and their families helped with a garden, painting, fixing fences, and repairing a rotted treehouse in Grandmother Willow complete with a net that hangs over the ditch. You can lay in the net, staring up into the canopy, and breathe the peace of the moment. It’s simply magical.
And then another hammer came down. I learned today we could be in danger of losing Grandmother Willow. And this is what has me angry. More waiting, more uncertainty, more tape.
I teach my clients; If you’re above a 3 on a scale of 1-10 the issue is with you, not the other person. I tell you, I am above a 3.
As I sit and allow myself to experience these emotions I slowly come down. I let go. I release.
And then I contemplate and seek understanding.
WHY am I so angry?
What CAN I do?
How do I move forward letting go so I’m free instead of consumed?
And herein lies the beauty, peace, and healing.
I am angry because I’m scared. I’m scared of losing such a beautiful old tree. I’m scared of failing to protect her and the loss of her presence over our labyrinth. Her healing embrace would no longer hold me as I walk the path and find my own moments of peace.
As I acknowledge my fear my anger dissipates and I am left slightly hollow.
I move into, “What CAN I do?”. I can seek out knowledgeable people for help and advice. Who can I get in my corner to help the situation and find a favorable outcome? I make a list.
And as I find answers to what I can do, I find peace. I have moved from helpless to empowered and by so doing, experience calm, clarity, and tranquility. I find gratitude for the emotions and the light they shine in my darkest corners.
It’s not always easy. I’ve been practicing this for years. I used to let my emotions take over and burst out in frustration. Now, I’m able to stop, take a breath and check-in. You can too. With a little practice and patience for yourself, you’ll make life so much easier.
Learning to check yourself when you rise above a 3 and processing the emotion personally is taking ownership. Giving yourself permission to feel the emotions and acknowledge the meaning behind them brings understanding and compassion. You will also learn to recognize when someone else is above a three and acknowledge the issue is theirs to deal with, not yours to take on.
I encourage you to fully experience your emotions and seek the light they shine. Conscientiously looking deeper you will find a profound understanding of self.
You are human.
Humans have emotions.
And emotions have lessons and insights.