And I said, Okay, that sounds really good. And then it started, because I’m saying, Okay, fine, I’ll take care of it. It’s four o’clock in the morning, I’m just going to go back to sleep. And the universe says, Uh, no, you’re not. You’re going to sit down. As a matter of fact, you’re going to write the full intro. You’re going to write the first full promo, and it’s going to be a few minutes long. And I said, Alright, fine. So I got up at four o’clock in the morning, wrote it all out, and I started doing podcasts. I joined a group that both of us are involved in, and they directed me to Krystal. I asked Krystal to be a guest on my program toward a better life. And Wow, we hit it off and we just have so much in common. We have so many cool things to talk about.  

I went through the same thing with Krystal when she first came on my podcast saying, Okay, so when do we really start the podcast? And we had probably, I don’t know, know, 20, 30 minutes  on the phone before we actually started. So I appreciate Krystal’s insights into helping people, helping people where they are, helping people to help themselves, and learning that life really can be a truly enjoyable experience if you look at it that way. And if you choose to look at it from a negative perspective, guess what you’re going to get. And I said, You know, we have so many different things in common that we can do with that so this is cool. This is awesome. 

Krystal Jakosky:    I love you and I want to put you in my pocket and just carry you around with me. Thank you for the boost. One of the things that Kevin and I have the opportunity to really connect with and is dear to my heart is actually the native path. And so today, in the interest of bringing more awareness and more understanding about possibilities and different healing modalities that you guys can dive into, finding your peace, finding your direction, finding your life, I really wanted Kevin to come on and talk about his journey with that native path so that you guys can understand a little bit more, because some of us are really drawn to it. I can tell you that any time I hear those drums, I am bouncing and walking around right along with it, because there is something that speaks to my heart and soul, and it brings me joy to be in that area. So Kevin, what drew you to the native path? Tell me about a little bit of your background and what brought you to that new place?  

Kevin Pennell:    I became really curious about how the indigenous people worked in close harmony with the world around them. They saw the trees as their brothers. You see the animals as their brothers and sisters. They would call the trees, not trees, but they called the brothers, called them the tall ones. Would call the stones, the rocks, grandmothers and grandfathers. They would go into a sweat lodge or they’d call them the stone people because they were the wisest people, because these stone people have been around for thousands of years. And the only way that we have to communicate is if you’re really in tune with stuff. You’re walking a long garden past some place, maybe out in Colorado or Texas or Minneapolis or wherever you might be in this little stone. You’re just drawn to it and you say, I got nothing, but it looks cute, so I’ll pick it up.  

And you, and if you actually tried to tell that person, you do know that that stone just talked to you, Right? They’d say, Yeah, Right. What planet did you just fall off of? But I was always intrigued by the natural world, and I’ve always been intrigued by all the beauty of the natural world. And then I found myself just getting interested in that. And I started to say, Well, I wonder if I have any native blood in me. And I said, Well, you know, and at the time I was living in Broward County down in Florida, and we had a pretty big library. The library in Broward County was huge. And they actually had an archive section, and you could go in, believe it or not, Krystal, you could go into there and you can look up the original manifests from the original Mayflower.

Obviously they’re micro-fish, but it was amazing. We’re talking about handwriting Okay. That they had preserved from some place. And I’m going to just casually conclude the other, you know, and the curiosity part comes in. Oh, I wonder if Pinnell is in the right place. Yeah. 1637, third Mayflower, there’s a Pinal. I went, Oh my gosh. My family’s been here since 1637. And I know my dad had told me that, you know, the other crew came in from Wales, around sometime  in the mid to early 1700s, because our ancestors fought in the Revolutionary War. So, geez, you know, common sense will tell you, I’ve got to have native blood in me. Right. I’ve been around here for three to 400 years. It’s got to be native blood in me. Right? So I started that path and I started chumming around with different folks, and I was really drawn to a couple of folks.  

One of those people as a person, I wrote about. The book is Two Feather Spiritual Seed Planter, and it’s written by Kevin Laughing Hawk, which is my spirit name that he gave me. But when Kenny and I first met, and this is shown in the book, when Kenny and I first met, I went into that guy, and I’m just talking with him because I was curious, and at the time I was doing news for local a radio station, and I said, You know, I wonder, I’m not really into the idea of interviewing this guy for a program, but I did see him identified in a local newspaper, The Gainesville Sun, I think it was. I sat down and I talked with him, and I just said, You know, you’re an interesting man and I would really like to share a little bit more with you.  

He said, Sure, by all means, what questions do you have? And that short little time ended up being two and a half hours, difficult to do with you. Well, if you knew two feathers, you’d see that we’re on the verge of destruction here for taking up time. Oh, wow. Both of us just went on and on and on. And one of the most significant things that he said to me, he looked at me and he said, I do have a question for you, Kevin. I said, What’s that? He says, Do you know who you are? And I said, Well, sure. I know exactly who I am. I’m Kevin Pennell,  I’ve been a pi, I’ve been a cop. I was in radio, I’m in radio now, and you know, I’ve done this, I’ve done that. I’ve done, No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Do you know who you are? And I said, I, I don’t. He says, We’ll go to that later. And he told me also, You know so you write news stories? I said, Yeah. He says, You know, maybe someday you ought to write a book about me or write a book about us. And I went, Oh, yeah. Right. Yeah. Like, I’m going to do that. 10 years later I did.

But, you know, so that’s the process. I was, you know, Kenny and I got together and I looked at him as my, my good friend, my brother, my teacher, my mentor. We are convinced that we were related in a past life, and we’ve got proof in our hearts and our spirits that that’s very, very true. And if I had a picture of him someplace, I would try to pull it up here to show you, because particularly in the cover of my book, and if you go to Amazon, you can see it. And people would look at that picture and they’d say, Well, it’s about Ken two feathers. Why did you put your picture on the cover?  

And I didn’t. That’s Kenny, that’s how close we looked like each other. And when I was living up in Maine I’d be on the street walking along and somebody’d holler across the street, and this is a little village up there called Bethel. He would holler across the street, and they would say, Kenny. Kenny. And I’m looking around Flood, trying to find Kenny. I can’t see Kenny anywhere,  I turned around and then said, Oh, wait a minute. You’re not Kenny  

They were talking to me. Things for a compliment. Yeah. Thanks for the compliment. I really appreciate that. Nice thoughts. But Kenny taught me so much about this stuff, and I was still convinced that I was Native American. You know, after all, I’ve been here for 300 and something years. My family’s been here that long. I mean, my gosh, I’ve got to be Native American, Nope. Few years ago, Vicky, who’s my partner, got me one of these DNA test things, and I found out that I am Scott Welsh, Irish, and a little bit of German. And here’s the cool part that I didn’t expect. I’m also a Viking.

That answered a lot of questions for me, because if you go into some of the history of the Carolinas and some of the Virginias, you’ll find out that a lot of the intermarriages that took place a couple of hundred years ago with the Cherokee people, and it looks like they would intermarry with Celtics. If you start looking at the Celtic traditions, and you look at them in comparison to Native American ways, both of them honor the earth, both of them look at the spirits of the world, the spirits of the animals, the spirits of the earth, the spirits of everything. And that’s enough common ground to cause a beautiful relationship between people. So instead of turning my back on it saying, Well, you know, I’m not Native American, I’m a human being.  

And that’s what Kenny would tell you. He says, there is no such thing as a Native American, an indigenous person, this, that, the other, we’re all human beings. And that is the essence of it, is to become a human being and a true human being as someone who not only honors the earth, but they honor people and they honor others’ ways. And that continued the journey. But it wasn’t until about a year or so before Kenny crossed over that I came to the realization that, Nope, I’m Scott Welsh and Irish mostly. And I’m okay with that. But in the midst of all of that, what I learned over a period of 15, 20 years of exposure to some of the indigenous people, particularly northeastern woodlands, Kenny was a penobscot and Sarney. You have Pinco, Mick Mack, Ma,  Paqua, you know, all that group that’s up there in Maine and New England. And I sat under his tutelage and learned a great deal about sweat lodges, about getting, giving a name about the significance of having a spirit named significance of the sacred pie, significance of the giveaway. All those beautiful stories and how I made them a part of me. And in sharing that book, I encouraged other people to do this as well, from a standpoint of not becoming a Native American, but to become a better human being. So there’s the short version.

Krystal Jakosky:   The question of, do you know who you are? Is a terrifying question, I think, for a lot of us. I mean, on the one hand, absolutely, I’m so and so, and this is what I do, but do you really know who you are? And to be sitting, you were drawn to indigenous people, you were drawn to the Native American ways. And to have this person sitting there asking you such a deep question You said, I’m Kevin Pennell, and I do this and this, and this and this, But inside, were you freaking out?  

Kevin Pennell:   Oh, yeah. 

Krystal Jakosky:    How did you move from, was it in just that one interview where you moved from where acquaintances and we’re checking each other out, and I wanted to know more about you that you automatically moved into, I want to take you under my wing. Or how did it change from just these two people meeting to, you need to learn more about who you are, and I want to teach you?

Kevin Pennell:   It was one step at a time. In the book I talk about asking for a teacher or looking for a teacher, and it was still a curiosity. And I’m a curious person. I’m a very curious person, underscore that several times. And curiosity can be a blessing, could also be a curse. In this instance, it was a blessing. And the curiosity continued that Kenny says, Oh, we’ve got a Native American gathering coming up. Next month they have what they used to call down around Dad city, They called it the full moon ceremony. And it was beautiful, and it was on the full moon. And you would, we would have all these different people come and, and it was intertribal and even those that were not native and yet called to it, and don’t let me forget, I want to go to that in a second. Their essence was drawing me toward a deeper understanding of these people that were so beautiful and so wonderful. And I said, You know, there’s got to be something here and I can’t quite figure it out. So I kept going back to Kenny and talking with him. This wasn’t just one conversation. And to answer your first question, I’m sorry, was, you know, did you at that point in time realize that you were the student and he was the teacher? The answer is no. The universe knew it.  

Universe knew, it’s taken us this long to get you two guys together crying out loud. You have no idea what a pia this has been.

 And as we moved along, I started hearing about gifting tobacco and asking for a teacher. And really what that means to ask an indigenous person to be your teacher. Kenny taught me a lot as far as being very traditional in some of this stuff, and I’m not dissing anyone for any of this, but, there were people that if you wanted a teacher, then you not only gifted tobacco, but you gifted money. And if you wanted a sweat, you gifted money. It just goes on and on and on. And I’m not I’m not dissing anyone because that’s just their path. But the way that I was taught is, if I want a teacher, I gift them tobacco. If I want a sweat lodge, I gift them tobacco. If I want them to awaken a spirit pipe for me, I gift them tobacco. Why tobacco?  

It’s bad for you. No. What it is, is, is it actually, the smoke is lifted with our spirit thoughts in the smoke to creator to the universe, to the ancestors around us, because that’s how the prayers are lifted. That’s why so often tobacco is looked at as a sacred herb, because its essence, the smoke as it’s burned, lifts our prayers and our intentions to the universe around us and the ancestors. So you would gift tobacco. And after a month, I’d say, I realized I really do want to know more about this. And I ended up gifting Kenny Tobacco and asking him to be my teacher. Part of that entailed, when you asked someone to be your teacher, you are like, I still use the term today. You’ve opened the door. You’ve opened the door to what you’ve opened to allow that person to share with you what they find to be the most benefit for you to be a better human being.  

And guess what? Some of those things they tell you, if you’re a good teacher, you may not and you probably won’t like. Because they tell you stuff that is better for you as a person. And I’m not going to sit here and tell you that it was all actually roses. As roses have thorns, Kenny upset me enough a couple of times that I wanted to punch him. I’m not kidding at all. It just irritated the crap out of me. And he had me, I’m gonna steal your term. He had me own my shit. And I really didn’t want to own my shit because it’s my shit. It’s not somebody else’s. And it’s so easy to say, that’s your fault. You just don’t want to admit to it because it’s your perception. Yeah. So after a while, I became his student, he was my mentor. So he was my student, I was his student, I was his man, he was my mentor. I’ll slip on that because the interesting thing is, when you get in deep enough with somebody, the roles do reverse. You establish a beautiful relationship that is beyond words.  

And as he would say, I’m not sure about our timeframe here, but if you can do this while we’re talking, I’m going to find something since it is going to be shown on YouTube, there’s a beautiful little story if I’m allowed to do this. Okay. 

Krystal Jakosky:    Yeah. This is your podcast. Well, it’s my podcast. You are my guest. You can get to do what you want. 

Kevin Pennell:    If I can do this in a camera. Okay. So I’ve got, There we go. I’ve got three dots here, right? Yeah. Okay, So now I’m going to take this, I’m going to draw a couple of lines here, and here it is again. 

Krystal Jakosky:    Further back, hold it further back so we can see it better. There we go. Okay.  

Kevin Pennell    So when we’re here, this is you and I talking to you, Krystal. Okay. Yeah. But the relationship that we’re forming also forms another relationship.  

This is our higher selves communicating and they’re communicating in terminology. We cannot identify, we cannot communicate because we don’t know, we don’t understand that language. So in a higher form, you and I are communicating. And that’s how Kenny and I were, and that’s how all relationships are. If you really look at it, and it’s when we have these types of relationships that people should understand that. I don’t want to go down this road because it’s a whole nother podcast. But if you are in a situation where you need to end a relationship, this needs to finish or not finish, but you’d redefine it.  

Because you’ve had that communication at that level. And so you have to figure out a way to make it real, to make it a good thing. And one of the things that we’ve used, I know some people think about affirmations, and I got an affirmation years ago, and this was not native, it was not indigenous, but it came from a spiritualist that I met down in Florida. He was an elder in a group down there. And the words go, you put a name or an object in the beginning of this affirmation, you’d say, Jack, I now release you to your good. The good of one is the good of all. Now keep those three little things in mind that I just showed you because Jack and I have had a relationship. But now we need to shift that relationship. So the I that I is the divine side of me, the higher self that I now release you to your good, I now release you to your higher self.  

I now release you to the good intentions that you have. The ultimate result of that is in doing so, you help everyone and yourself included, because the good of one is the good of all. And that’s how you do stuff. If we realize that it really helps our relationships a lot more, so you can see where I can, we can really go to town on that. So that information was shared with me in that it’s so important that we really do get the picture of what it’s like to have a relationship with someone and to be integrated with that person because we are not just linear, but the whole picture. Yeah. So we’re embraced together in that whole thing.   

Krystal Jakosky:    There’s a ton in there. And I was trying to quietly and discreetly take some notes because there are so many things that I want to jump back to. I do the same thing. So, I love the illustration when I am working with a client or when I am being taught with somebody. I have, I have for a long time, 20 years, been very aware of my higher self. And there have been plenty of times that my higher self has been talking with the other person’s higher self. Then I understand. So it helps me to see their perspective. It helps me to see their point of view, why they feel a certain way. When I’m working with a client, I make sure that the conversation between my higher self and myself is very clear. So that if there is information that I need to give to my client while I’m teaching them how to listen to their higher self, it’s a very sacred and beautiful connection that you can build and you can really honor like yourself with your higher self and understanding and trusting the information that you get from them.  

And as a teacher and a student connection, it’s even more sacred and special because of the added depth of the relationship that can happen because of the fact that you’re willing to spiritually connect together. My husband has this phrase, he says, the student becomes the master. And I think that goes to your comment that, that it does, we shift for a little while. We become, we are the teacher or we are the student. And after a little while, we are going to shift and we will be the other, we will be the student or the teacher on some level in some manner. And it’s a beautiful give and take because we’re all human and we all have experiences that we can share to help change lives in beautiful, gentle, and not so gentle ways. Some of the best lessons that I have learned are the ones where I just kind of want to flip the finger and say, Screw you, I don’t want to talk to you anymore.  

Kevin Pennell:    And then I have had those clients who they don’t talk to me for a week or two because what I ask them, what I am inspired to ask them from my eye or power saying, Hey, you need, you need a bigger nudge than what you’re willing to accept right now. So I’m going to say this. And it really upsets them. It’s really infuriating. And yet they always come back and say, thank you.  

I needed that. I wasn’t willing to accept that. And the way that you did that was so fabulous. It hurts like hell. It pisses us off. And yet those moments, as long as we’re still saying yes, and, and I’m going to choose into this, then we’ll see what happens and where it goes. And I’m really grateful for you, that Kenny was able to push your buttons.

Krystal Jakosky:    Am I? You have no idea. He, he came in, I’ll go ahead. No, you’re good. No, no, no. Please. You had a question. I want to because I will ramble forever.  

Kevin Pennell:    No, I was, what I was going to say was actually to the audience and the fact that oftentimes those people who are so challenging have the biggest lessons. They have the biggest opportunity for shifting, for growth. If we step back, take a moment and ask, Okay, what am I supposed to learn? What am I being shown? How can I deal with this? Instead of shutting down and putting that wall there and a million locks and everything else to push that person out of our lives, maybe we step back and say, Okay, how can I learn and how can I grow and how can life be better because of this really frustrating moment that I am experiencing? So friction is good.  

Krystal Jakosky:    It is something, somebody ought to come up with a line like breathe in and breathe out. 

Kevin Pennell:    Right. Thank you.  

So a little while back, I want to bring us back to this because I wanted to come back and you mentioned that you wanted to come back. The whole concept of you thought for sure that you had Native American blood in you, that you were somehow related to that. And then you go in with Kenny two feathers and you’re learning from him. And you said you wanted to return to this concept of the fact that you actually don’t have, and yet you were learning from.  

So in some work that I had done on my own and thankfulness to others, for what it’s worth my background, degree is in theology. And I did a flip some years ago and I will not, again, I’m not going to put anybody down because they go to church because that is the level of spirituality. That’s the way you achieve your level of spirituality that  you feel that you’re growing from and that you’re getting a lot of benefit from. And that’s fine. It’s just not who I am anymore. It was part of my process. I don’t regret any of that. But all that being said, I’m leading into something. And that is that I strongly believe in reincarnation Now, I believe in it so strongly that I can tell you that there were incidents in my life where dreams that used to come to me after I had made a shift and I had made a change that was needed in my life, Guess what happened to those dreams? They stopped because I made the change that was necessary. And I realized after I had had this one, I had one dream that was, it was to the point,  it would actually become nightmarish and it would wake me up. And it was scary. I’m sure people have had these kind of dreams where you would have a dream where you either you want to punch somebody and for whatever reason, everything goes into slow motion and you can’t quite get your fist into it where you need to go stops  

Yeah. Or you have the other situation, which was this one that I had a spear in my hand and I was native. I was a pueblo and I had my spear and we were being invaded and I knew that I had to do something and I just kept trying to move forward with this. And it’s, I’m going to kill you. I’m going to do this. And nothing will ever happen with that. I had a past life regression done by a colleague of mine and came to realize the reason why I had such a hard time with that is because that’s not what happened. Oh. I was a spiritual leader of that group, and I had taken the vow to be a peacemaker, and that meant that I didn’t raise arms against anybody.  

And the truth came out that I watched my family get killed. Wow. And that was tough. And after I realized what was involved with that, I saw for the first time in that juncture, a real essence of what I was in that life. Not only had it been that, but I also found that there were some roots in the Kwa Nation. And because I was, I talked with somebody one time and we were just having a great time, just like you and I are having a great time right now. And we started singing some wonderful songs and some of the songs that just came from the heart just came from Spirit. I’m just going at it. And the lady that I was with at the time, she says she just held her hand up and she was black feet and Polish.  

That’s a good combination. She said, You need to stop right there. And I said, Why? What? You know, what did I do? And I’m still, this is like three or four years into my, two or three years into my path on some of this indigenous people path. What did I do? Did I offend you? And she, No,  have you been around K people? And I said, No, I’ve never been around Kwa people. Where are they? And she says, Well, you know, up Midwest. And I said, Okay. So what? She says, Well, you’re singing in the K language. I got nothing. And again, I did some more work. And I’m, I’m comfortable with that, that Kwa. And some people say, Oh, you’re just one of those frilly, fufu people that just believes in anything and everything.  

But what I’ve got also down deep inside of me is a real sense. And it was brought into full light when I saw, and I heard from Kenny, but I heard about a story that was given down, I believe by the Hopi, and I can be wrong, but something about that there are so many souls who are out there from the 500 nations that occupied North America. There are not enough bodies for the souls that have crossed over. And so some of those souls went into the people of today, the white people, and those that have the hearts and the minds ready for this sort of thing.  Okay, I can accept that or not, all I know is this. I’m going to move along with the way that time feels. I’m the most comfortable. And so, I will talk about, you need to be very wary of being too comfortable because you know, you can get so comfortable that you no longer grow. But comfort in this act, I would say not comfortable, but content with the concept that I’m confident that I’ve been in native in the past. And that’s why one of the reasons I gravitated back to this is because I see the connection between my true heritage of the Celtic people and the inherited or reincarnated heritage of my native side. So yeah, it’s beautiful. It’s powerful stuff.  

I’m searching for the right words at the moment because there are a ton of thoughts and ideas going through my brain right now. And I want to say these words in the most respectful and honoring way that I can. We are drawn to different things. We are drawn to different ways of life. And it is all an opportunity to learn and grow. It is all an opportunity to find compassion and expansion with understanding a different culture, a different way of living, a different state of being. And this is, and I would like to mention that not by way of just Native American and indigenous pupils. I’m talking about people who live differently than us. Maybe it’s someone who chooses religion and the structure that that gives them over spirituality. Perhaps it’s someone who has a different societal belief, right? Whether you’re Republican or Democrat or all those things.  

Perhaps it’s someone who is lgbtq plus versus someone who is not unaware of it. Somebody who is deaf and in that community and culture and somebody who is not and is trying to learn how to respect and honor the different cultures and ways of living around us. And I think that by learning about it, inviting that in from a very respectful and honoring space, we learn so much more. And just like you are the student, you may also become the teacher and help people recognize that you’re not out to get them and that you are more balanced and that things are okay and whatnot. I think there’s this huge opportunity for all of us to come together in this compassionate, gentle space. If you are drawn to the beliefs and the feelings and the teachings and the culture of indigenous people, I encourage you to dive in.  

I encourage you to respectfully dip your toes and send out to the universe and say, Hey, can you send me a teacher and help me meet the people that I need to meet so that I can start walking on that path? Because the only way you will find that person is if you do open up. Kevin and I were talking about the concept right now. Kevin’s very much in this. Yes. And what else can I do? And if you say, yes, I would like that teacher, and what else can I learn? How many things shift? 

You bet it does. Just be ready for the ride. I think when you are working with someone within the native community, as an outsider, I would say this, I felt truly honored when I was living out in the southwest living, living in Arizona. And I found the sweat lodge to be so beneficial for me as a person. And it really did a lot for my heart, my spirit, my soul, and what a wonderful group of people they were that were there. It was on the Pima Reservation. And if you’re familiar with Phoenix, that’s pretty much really close within the city limits of Phoenix. But they were Pima, there were Pima and there were Navajo. That was pretty much it. Those two people, excuse me, there was Apache, there were Apaches there too.  

And the sweat lodges that I had been to up to that point were a big one for me was 10, 15 people. This sweat lodge alone was probably, I’m gonna guess it was, it was elliptical. So it was probably pretty close to somewhere between 16 and 20 feet long and probably a solid 12 to 14 feet wide, big sweat lodge. Wow. And I thought a big sweat lodge that we would have had a really heavy duty sweat lodge had 12 to 15 stones. No, we had somewhere between 48 and 52 stones in that sweat lodge. And everyone in there, you could just feel the spirit in there. And I faithfully went there for my own sake. I mean, because I needed that in my life at that time. I had drifted a little bit. I’m still on the path and still doing it, but I’m still being pulled into other stuff and we can maybe go into that later or go into another podcast. But we all will drift from time to time off of our given path. And sometimes it’s done for different reasons, but in this one, I felt really good that it gave me that grounding that I needed.  

And literally out of the proverbial blue, the leader came to me and parenthetically the leader and his wife actually helped young men and women on the PMA reservation with substance abuse. And they used the sweat lodge as a vehicle to help them overcome substance abuse. So it was pretty powerful. Yeah. He came up to me after I’d been there for some months, he put his hand on my shoulder and he said, Can I speak with you for a minute brother? And I said, Sure, what’s up? He says, You know, we have another sweat lodge. I said, Yeah, I, you know, coming next Tuesday, Wednesday, whatever it was, he says, No, no, no. He says, We have a family swat lodge every Sunday and I’d like you to start attending.  

Krystal Jakosky:    Oh wow.  

Kevin Pennelll:    That blew me away.  

Krystal Jakosky:    Literally invited you into the family.  

Kevin Pennell:    Yeah. And no ceremony. It just was what it was. And I also had the opportunity, one of the Apaches in the group came up, put their hand on my shoulder one day and then said, we have a very special thing. And we’d like, and this is after I had been invited to go to the Sunday sweats, because it was at one of those Sunday sweats that he came to me. And let’s face it guys, I don’t look native  

And he puts his hand on my shoulder and he says, Are you familiar with a very special Apache dance where a young woman is ushered into a young lady and is ushered into womanhood? And I said, Yeah, I’m a little familiar with that. He says, Well, we have a young lady who’s doing that. This, you know, whenever it is, he says, we’d be honored to have you. And this is the one where you would have the dancers, and the brain’s gone right now. Hopefully it’ll come back. Wink wink, nudge, nudge Krystal, maybe you can help me out here. But you have the special dolls that you can buy at gift shops and they’re the really cool looking dolls that you get. And they’re Hopi basically. Yeah, well the Apache have them too, just so you know. And  I went to that dance and they had the bonafide ones. They didn’t have the tourist ones because you can go to either one of those dances in Arizona and this one you were stopped on the road when you were coming in saying, who invited you?  

I told them and they said, Okay, you can come in.  

Krystal Jakosky:    Okay, fine. We’ll admit you. What I want to know, and I want my listeners to know, what is the purpose or the intention behind the sweat lodges?  

Kevin Pennell:    Good question. There’s a chapter in the book about that.

Sweat lodge. I attended the sweat lodge basically to– how do I start with this? Sweat lodge is an opportunity for us to bear ourselves to the universe and to cleanse ourselves from whatever is holding spirit back. Black Elk and his nephew, Frank FOLs Crow also had the same thing. And that is that with sweat lodges, you are given the opportunity to bury your soul and to go down deep inside and reveal to you what you need to change. Fools Crow talked about being a hollow bone and there’s a workshop that I’ve done before called Becoming a Hollow Bone. And interestingly enough, to me it’s also one of those central truths like love because the Dalai Lama talks about becoming, believe it or not, he uses the term becoming a hollow tube. But the hollow bone is just simply this.  

That you get rid of the stuff that’s inside that bone to allow more spirit to come through that’s unobstructed. And to give the analogy, they give the example of a plumbing pipe that if it gets clogged, the water can’t get through and you have to unplug it. And so the Sweat lodge is one of the vehicles that can be used to help rid ourselves of the stuff that’s within our being, within our bones that will help spirit to come through better. That’s one of the parts. But in most cases it’s  an opportunity to be cleansing and beautiful. That’s what’s done. And that’s another piece that I was taught if you want to have a sweat lodge. I was honored in being able to be taught how to do a sweat lodge and I’ve poured a few sweat lodges.  

The way that I would do a sweat lodge was somebody would come up to me, and this is how Kenny taught me and others chimed in with the same thing, is that you come up to me, you give me tobacco, and you give me a reason why. And I’m not trying to be a jerk, but if somebody comes up to me and says, Oh, I want to have a sweat lodge because I want to know what it’s like. No, why do you want it? It’s like the same question, Do you know who you are?

If you give me a good reason or if you give that elder a good reason and tobacco, there’s your way. And typically what I did was somebody would give tobacco or somebody would give Kenny tobacco and he’d say, Give me a few days to talk with the spirits. And that’s what you do. And my thing was, he taught me if I wait three times to come back through. And the third time it affirms that. In fact, if the third time doesn’t come at a certain length of time, then it ain’t going to happen. It’s just not meant to be. It doesn’t mean that you can’t have a sweat, it just means that I’m not supposed to be the one to do it. Or maybe you’re not supposed to have one. So there’s no money exchanged, it’s just your gift of tobacco. That’s the way I was taught. And you typically break bread afterward too. There’s a lot more to it than that. Does that answer the question?  

Krystal Jakosky:    No, it’s a fantastic answer and I very much appreciate it because it literally brings everything back to intention and spirituality and being connected with source, being connected with the universe, being connected with spirit, whatever that phrase is that works for you. So Native Americans, indigenous people, some people are going to do sweat lodges, and that is how they connect with that spirit. And other people are going to go to organized religion. That is where they have that connection with that higher power that brings them the peace and joy that they need. It all works for everyone depending on where you’re at and what you are seeking and what fills your heart and gives you the answers that you need in that moment. And so I love the intention behind it. I love the purpose behind it. It’s I am seeking, or I would like to connect or I need this, and because I need that, I am going to seek for answers. I’m going to seek healing. I am going to find somebody who can help me move forward and be better in my life than I already am right now. So thank you for that answer. Thank you for sharing.

Kevin Pennell:   Part of it is, the magic word that you used is something I used with students when I teach not only workshops, but  when I teach in massage school and when I teach whatever, intention is key. Intention is critical. So it doesn’t matter what you’re doing, you need to look at the reason behind it. Yeah. And you need to really say, Am I doing this for the right reasons? What’s my intention? What am I really engulfing in this? What am I really putting into this? What kind of energy am I putting into this? Yeah. And if you’re working with someone, side note massage therapy is, is if you don’t have the intention when you’re talking with somebody, or excuse me, when you’re working with someone and you’re doing the massage with someone, you’re doing the body work with someone, any of the stuff that we’re talking about, even if you’re doing counseling or if you’re doing anything like that, and if your mind is not totally focused with good intention with that person, don’t think for a second that they won’t feel it.  

You don’t have to say it. Words don’t have to express what’s really going on. And if we’re human, we’re going to do this, but if my brain is on, well, geez, I wish this interview would get done because I’ve got other things to do. If I let that intention come out in that, going back to the little three globes I had, and if your higher self picks up on that, guess what? You say, Okay, that’s good. See ya. And I never hear from you again. But it’s the side. The other side of that is if you’re a body worker and you are totally committed to this person and you’re not thinking about your rent, you’re not thinking about, Oh geez, this is this person again. And you’re not thinking about, Oh, what am I going to do this weekend?  

And if you’re not, you know, all the little thought monkeys coming in and if you’re not sidetracked by all that, guess what? They know it. They know when you are connected to them. And then the magic really happens because they say, Wow, I don’t know what this is that you’ve just done with me as far as a massage is concerned, or whatever the case may be, but it’s the most fantastic, most beautiful, most awesome experience. And I will come back and you say, Okay, great. And I will, It’s just magical when you do that because people want that. I was talking earlier today with someone and they said, You know what people are starving for right now. I mean, we’re doing this on a podcast, we’re doing this on YouTube, but they really miss being together. Actually touching each other. And it’s that communication that is so important. But anyway, ramble on intention next.

Krystal Jakosky:    No, you’re good. I’ve also noticed for me personally, I have done ti massage, meaning I am a trained ti massage therapist. And so I have often found that when I am in it, and this goes for, I mean, you brought out massage therapy, but I think that this goes for almost any action that we’re doing. If you focus on the action that you’re doing and you are really in it, I am cutting these vegetables and I’m getting the same size. I’m sanding wood, I’m chopping wood, I’m working on a client. If you focus on that and let everything else go, it actually becomes a meditation. One of my favorite things was to be working and losing my mind in what I was doing and having that intentionality and the fluidity because I was just present in that moment. And that presence is what brought me peace, is what brought me more energy to continue with the rest of my day. And so intention, the presence and things are completely different. So Kevin, what are you doing now? 

Kevin Pennell:    I’m talking with you. You ask, I mean.

Krystal Jakosky:    Like these days, I mean you and I could shop talk forever, you guys, I’m telling you Kevin and I could do a year’s worth of podcast and probably not touch on the same subject twice. And that’s fantastic to find such a gift like that. So I sincerely thank you for having me on your A Better Life podcast. And then I really thank you for being here because I really wanted to talk about the native way of life and their love for the earth and their connection to the world around us, because I think it is so absolutely beautiful. I feel that draw and it is one of those things that speaks peace and joy to my heart with all of the other things that we have talked about, but not necessarily on this podcast. What else are you into these days? Like what else are you doing in life?  

Kevin Pennell:    Well, I do have to share one other little thought with Native American stuff. It just came to me and I would just want to honor that, that if you are a person listening to this, watching this, and if you’re being drawn in that direction, be you white or be you native. And if you are drawn in that direction and you start to seek out someone, know this, that eventually, if you’re doing it for the right reasons, with the right intentions, it goes back to the old saying, when the student is ready, the teacher will appear. But at the same token, when you find that teacher or where you find that person, you don’t just run right out and give them tobacco right on the spot. No, just take your time, go slow. Take it to somebody who has been there. Oh dear. You know, I want everything and I want it right now. Because that’s the way you do stuff, right? No, take your time. Be patient would be one key word. Another key word to keep in mind is love, trust, and thankfulness.  

Honor sharing, caring, giving, loving. That’s the ones that I’m trying to run in my brain. But that’s what we would say all the time to love, to share, to care, to give. We’re coming up on a season called, of course, Thanksgiving. And I have a podcast coming up that’s going to be on the Thanksgiving address. And if you have an opportunity to look up on Google or listen to the podcast, it doesn’t matter to me. It really doesn’t. What’s most important to me is that you look and find the Thanksgiving address. It was as it was delivered by the Iroquois people. Because it’s beautiful. When I did it the other day, I got emotional. It just really hit my heart when I would listen to my really good friend Mike Douglas giving that information to me. He was the main preventative skill school.  

Hope you don’t mind my sharing that. But, thankfulness is so important to be thankful for the air that we breathe. Be thankful for the life that we have. Be thankful that we are old because we could have died young. Be thankful for the simple little things. Be thankful for the person in your life. Be thankful for the people in your life. So what am I doing now? Well, I am enjoying doing podcasts. You’re talking about being focused on stuff. People really, my partner can’t believe it about how I can sit down with my audition software and I can spend hours editing. You can share that information with Avery. I can just go away. I mean, hours will go by and I’m just sitting here going on. 

Yeah. But I’m such a big picture person and yet at the same time I can be very detail oriented when I need to be. In Native traditions sometimes that’s referred to as mouse medicine. But anyway, so I do my podcast, I do some instruction, I do some workshops. I am a massage therapist who sees people here in Asheville, North Carolina, Wink, wink, nudge, nudge, I have  people ask, even if you’re a massage therapist and your listener watching this, and some people will ask me, Well, how many massages do you do a day? And I typically am going to do two to four, and that’s my happy place. Yeah. Could I do six? Yeah, I could, but I wouldn’t last. I’ve been doing body work of some level or another for about 22 years, and it can be done.  

So I do the massage, I do podcasting. I walk in nature. I love to get out and about. I just like being when I can. Through our other conversations, Krystal knows that we’re into cars a little bit. And I do have another podcast called the Driving Experience. I’m really into BMWs, and racing. I used to race, but I don’t race anymore. Just because, you know, I’m not going to say I won’t because I don’t know, but I just like to live an active life. We are currently living in a senior community while we wait for our house to be built. And we tried this for a while and, Krystal, we can’t do it. And I’m not putting anything down, but I, I cannot be that old person. 

Just can’t do that. Nope. Just can’t. You’re not ready. No. And, I don’t know that I ever will be.  There was a teacher who taught, she was actually responsible forTrigger Point Therapy, and her name was Janet Trave. And Janet continued her work as a massage therapist and, and doctor up until about three to four months before she died at the ripe old age of 96. Oh, wow. I intend to beat her record. So I gotta go good. But just stay active. And if you’re older and if you’re a senior and you feel like, Oh man, I just know, just stop doing what you’re doing and go out for a walk in the woods, bathe in the woods.  

 And no, don’t take a tub with you for crying out loud. I’m talking about being one with the forest. But, you know, be active. Get around young people and, and just be and enjoy life because that’s what we’re here for. We’re here to learn. We’re here to be filled with joy. We’re here for contentment. And I mean, if you look at the Dalai Lama that still does live things on occasion, and I saw something the other day and I realized he’s pushing 90 years old. And you look at him and he’s still smiling and he’s still going around and he’s still happy and he’s not dejected, he’s not down. So yeah, let us see. What else do I do?  

I build things. I stay active and I let my brain stay active.

Krystal Jakosky:    In all of that activity, in all of the things that you’re doing and loving and enjoying, what is your favorite or most unique? 

Kevin Pennell:    Geez.  

Krystal Jakosky:    Activity for self care.  

Kevin Pennell:    Oh, good one. Yay. Wow. 

Krystal Jakosky:    I don’t know what you thought I was going to ask.  

Kevin Pennell:    You know, I didn’t. What’s your favorite one? Oh God. No.  

Krystal Jakosky:    No. What’s your favorite, what’s your favorite way to take care of yourself and rebuild, regenerate? Because you’re doing a lot. You’re out and you’re functioning. What do you do for you?  

Kevin Pennell:    I will answer this with a line that I’ve used for years. It’s four words, go with the flow. What I mean by that is, today I missed my run and I missed my walk. Because I’m doing two podcasts. One I did, and one I’m being done. What was that? 

So I could get all upset about that or I could look at this as an opportunity for me. Because that’s what this has been. Yeah. You know, I’m sharing with Krystal and this is me time, this is what I want to do. But the rest of that part is for self care, and I’ve taught, and I have a workshop that I do with this, but self care is one of the biggest things for self care is awareness.  

Krystal Jakosky:    Yeah.  

Kevin Pennell:    You know what’s missing? So I might fill that void with going out for a walk in the woods. I might fill that void with doing some Tai Chi and Chiang. I might start to do the ch style 48 and I might get through half of it and start saying, Oh, I’m good with this. Yeah. And you know, I want to go with the flow to what generates within me, the sense of being me and no one else. And if you look at that book that I wrote, one of the things that came up in that book was, I am a chameleon. True, true story. Or I have been where, because of my background, and this will really spin us off and I’m not gonna go there but because of the way I was brought up a long time in a residence or a place or a community was two years when I was growing up, two years mostly it was like 18 months on average.  

Wow. And we moved and it was no regrets, not upset, no problems. But it’s funny because what that taught me to do is how to connect with people like that. And I could make a connection. I could get that. But in order to do that, I had to be like them. Listen to that. I had to be like them, not like me, like them. Why? Because in the way that I thought, it made me more comfortable around them because I’m like them. But then is when I really got the message that Kenny was trying to ask me years and years and years before, Kevin, who do you think you are? Who are you? And I went, Wow. And that’s when the change really happened. And people say, Geez, would you do that again? I said, I would try to avoid it like the bubonic plague, but I don’t regret a bit of it because I had to go through that. I had to do that change. So back the to question, what do you do for self care? I listen to the still small voice in my heart. When I used to, when I’ve signed off on my books before, I would say something to the effect of, let your heart and spirit guide you because they’ll never let you down.  

Let your heart and your spirit guide you because they will never let you down your heart, your spirit, not the other persons, but listen to your heart within and go with that. And once you get that message, you can maybe find that what you want to do today for self-care is meditate. I do that. I can meditate for a few minutes or I can meditate for two hours. I’ve done both. I can go down that road and we’re not going to go there, but you know, meditate, Tai chi, Chiang Reiki. I can get lost doing massages. That can be, believe it or not, be my self care, giving a massage. And of course receiving a massage because that is also self care. But you’ve got to take care of yourself. If you don’t take care of yourself, no one else is going to.

Krystal Jakosky:    You are, you are echoing so many things that I already say and I absolutely love it. It’s like these gigantic exclamation points coming down saying hello. Hey guys, remember self care is the conscious and intentional act of taking care of your own needs. And it could change from day to day. It does not matter. What matters is that you are letting your heart and your spirit be your guide because they’re not going to be false to you.  

I mean it’s like bam boo. Yeah. Bring it on. Meditation, you know, meditation is the moment that you tune out the world and tune into yourself. You tune into the breathing, you tune into the moment and you let everything else go. 

Kevin Pennell:    I think one of the things you should do with part of the self care is change it up. Don’t try to do the same thing every day. Because if you do the same thing every day, it becomes a habit. And before you know it, a habit becomes a rut and you are only different, you know, do you know the only difference between the rut and a grave? Both ends are knocked out. That’s the only difference when a rut and a grave is where you haver both ends knocked out.  

Krystal Jakosky:   Wow. Okay guys, let’s stay out of the ruts. I have one more question for you Kevin. You’ve already given us a really good one. So who are you is a great journaling question. I love to leave all of my listeners with a journaling prompt or a question that they can think about and really answer. And who you are is amazing. Is there another one that you can think of that you would love to encourage people to explore?  

Kevin Pennell:    What have you done for self care for yourself today? 

Krystal Jakosky:    Okay. Just today.  

Kevin Pennell:    For the whole week?  

Krystal Jakosky:   It doesn’t have to be huge. It’s one little thing today. 

Kevin Pennell:    What have you done for yourself today? 

Krystal Jakosky:    I have, I have loved having you here. I have loved chit chatting with you. I really hope that everybody out there listening has enjoyed listening to us as well, and that you’ve been inspired and that you are leaving this session of this podcast uplifted and smiling. I am. I love Kevin. I love just the way that it’s so free and easy to talk with you. How do people find you and are there any last tidbits of wisdom or words of knowledge that you would like to share with people?  

Kevin Pennell:    So I would say first you can contact me through my website, which is toward better life.com. If you want to reach out to me, just write to me at kevin@tortaboutlife.com. I am available to do consultations and stuff like that from time to time. I haven’t mentioned that, but I do, I have done that and I will be more than happy to do it. so that’s the two easiest ways to do it. You know, if I go into phone numbers and stuff. When we get acquainted, you can have my phone number and we can text. That’s fine. Yeah.The easiest thing is toward better life.com and Kevin toward better life.com. And that’s an email and the website. That’s the easiest way to do this. And if you’re in the western North Carolina area and you’re looking for a massage, you can still do the same thing. I’ll just direct you to who to contact to get a massage. I think I would leave people just with those same simple words that if I can get them again in my head properly, and that is listen to your heart and spirit because they won’t let you down.  

Krystal Jakosky:    Amen. Oh, thank you so much for being here today. Thank you for sharing with me and starting my day off so beautifully. So Right. Thank you. 

Kevin Pennell:   Thank you. Pleasure’s all mine. We’ll do this again.  

I hope this moment of self care and healing brought you some hope and peace. I’m Krystal Jacosky on Instagram, Facebook, and YouTube. And I hope you check us out and follow along for more content coming soon. I look forward to being with you again here on Breathe in. Breathe out. Until next time, take care.  

And it was a real hustle and everything that went with that was quite detrimental to your nervous system, to your mind, to your body. But of course, you kind of think that you’re invincible. So what started to show up for me was a lot of anxiety and panic attacks and depression, and chronic insomnia. I didn’t realize that this was anything unusual or wrong. I just thought it was part of living. It was part of the lifestyle. And you don’t really question that as far as the anomaly goes, you just keep doing what you’re doing and try and push through that. It wasn’t until one morning in February 1996, that I woke up, that accumulation of stress buildup in my body, and all of those were symptoms that were really signals.

Symptoms are signals for change, but I was ignoring the symptoms and the signals and just kept doing the same thing. And your body doesn’t give up when you are kind of just turn up the volume until we make some changes. For me, I wasn’t making any changes, if anything, things were getting worse. Then in February 1996, that morning things just fell into a heap. I woke up getting ready for work, and I remembered I was in the bathroom, shaving, looking into the mirror that I recalled. I had a really big lunch that morning with some of my major senior bankers at a large investment, and I had been getting these episodes. I didn’t know what they were. I didn’t know what an anxiety or panic attack was. I was getting these episodes and I had this fear in my head.

What if I get one of those episodes at the table? Well, I’m stuck with these six traders and I can’t get out of that situation. What if I can’t breathe? What if this happens? And what if all of a sudden this army of fear and dread swept over me. What happened was I collapsed on the floor. I couldn’t stand up. I lost my footing and I couldn’t breathe. I felt like there was a sharp knife in my heart, a sharp pain in my chest. I had these pins and needles all over my body and had this cold flaming sweat, like a fever, sweat. I was nauseous. I wanted to vomit. I needed to go to the toilet. I needed to do all of these things. My body was all exploding.

And I had this sort of blurry vision. I couldn’t really see, I couldn’t breathe. And I actually thought I was having a heart attack. I thought I was on the edge of death. I remember it still being on the tiles and really sort of not really caring. I’d really kind of been done by that. I didn’t see any light at the end of time, I become so dark and miserable at who I’d become and the lifestyle I was living, and the person, I was, I guess, representing. And if that was the moment, then I was fine with that. I kind of lost hope. Interestingly my wife picked me up and took me to the doctor. He explained I was having a nervous breakdown, which was something that really crushed me.

I thought I was hoping for a diagnosis of a heart attack. But mental breakdown – it was something that I just lost it. I couldn’t stop crying. I was just crying in his clinic. And then he sent me to emergency sort of sent me straight to one of the top psychiatrists in Sydney. He explained to me that I have a nervous disposition and that I need to take pharmaceutical drugs to get better and stay better. So those two sorts of diagnoses were quite crushing for me. You know, I built up this sort of false facade about who I thought I was, this invincible broker, with all my money and all my accolades and everything, but this was like the rug being pulled out from underneath me. It was a very crushing time in my life at that point.

Krystal Jakosky: It’s amazing when we get to that point. When you’re laying on the floor and the cold tile just feels good and you’re like, I just don’t want to do anything else. And we think that we’re invincible until that moment that we really find out that we’re not. It’s almost like I’m ready to accept this, but I’m not ready to accept it. I’m ready to accept that there’s this horrible, horrible thing wrong with me, but I’m not ready to accept that there’s something a little bit different, but maybe my own behavior could make better if I shifted it. How did you get to meditation? You’re told that you’re having this anxiety attack that you need to be on medication that you need to change things. How did it go from, you’re gonna be on medication to let’s try meditation instead.

Tom Cronin: Yeah. This is 1996. So meditation, there was no internet. There was no Google. There were no apps. And meditation was, I’d never come across it in my life. You know, I grew up on a farm, went to an all-boys Catholic school, and then went to a trading room floor in finance that was filled with 150 testosterone field guys. So this had never come across my path. What had happened was I was seeing a psychiatrist. I’d seen the doctors, I’d seen therapists put on pharmaceutical drugs. I just felt inherently that there must be another part to this. I didn’t know what it was, but I really felt very uncomfortable not to dismiss pharmaceutical drugs for people who are on medication. But for me, I just felt that I had to succumb to this for the rest of my life.

I just felt that this was not a healing solution. So I really want to fix the pro and this wasn’t really fixing the problem. It was kind of like putting a bandaid on it. I just felt deeply that this wasn’t really the solution. And I didn’t know what the solution was, but there I was at home. I developed hydrophobia. I had to take time off work. I couldn’t really leave the house. Just the idea of walking out the front door was too overwhelming for my nervous system. The stress response was too big. So we tend to default back into our safe space, our bedroom, our cave, living room, something where we know we don’t have to face any demands that are going to overwhelm us. So I’m at home with acrophobia and the thing with AOB 1996, it kind of sucks because there’s no internet, there’s no Netflix.

You’re just watching a lot of TV. And there’s a documentary about a property developer that was very successful here in Australia. The story was really about his success, but there was a tiny sliver of that story, where he was talking about how we used a particular style of meditation, and it was actually transcendental meditation. I’d never heard of it, but they showed him while he was talking, sitting in a suit. I still remember it, it was like, a blue pinstripe suit. He was sitting in that suit meditating and just in a chair, not Lotus and not muds or anything. It was like this light bulb moment of like, wow, I want that. I wear suits. I sit in chairs, I want to have that experience. When they mentioned transcendental meditation, there was something I was really into drugs at that time.

I loved the nightclub scene, taking lots of drugs and getting really out of it. And there was this idea of this transcending meditation, because really what we’re doing with drugs and drinking or any addiction is trying to find some EC, ecstatic experience, some fulfill the experience, and to get beyond our current dimension, and this transcending means to go beyond. I love the idea of it. So I started to look it up. That’s when I did a lot of research into all the different types of meditation. Those a bit younger than myself might not know what I’m talking about here, but I picked up the phone book which has the directory of all the companies. It’s a big fat book that had all the companies in it with their phone numbers. So I went to M for meditation. I still recall going down the lists of all the looking for meditation centers in Sydney. And that’s how I came across transcendental meditation. It was really the starting point of a deep journey into Eastern philosophy, mind-consciousness, and spirituality.

Krystal Jakosky: So I want to remind all of our listeners that, as Tom said, there is absolutely a space where medication is beneficial. And if you are one of our listeners that needs that medication to help you be okay, then I encourage you to continue doing that and make sure that you listen to your doctor and work with them hand in hand. There are also other people that want to try something different and be able to shift things in a different way. Meditation can help them. Often meditation can work hand in hand with the medication that you’re on to try to make things better. So we are in no way shape or form saying anything against that. In fact, we highly encourage you to do what works for you and what’s right for you. So thank you for sharing that question with you prior to this moment where you watch this and you’re intrigued by meditation. What was your attitude towards meditation?

Tom Cronin: I actually had a couple of people recommend it because they knew I was in a bad way. And one of them my friends particularly had suggested I should try meditation a couple of times. She wasn’t actually using it but she thought it might help me. However, I was very dismissive so I had had it come into my field just very subtly when someone said, Hey, yeah, you think he really should drive meditation, but I just wasn’t ready. And I think this is the thing, some people are a lot more adaptable, a lot more intuitive. Particularly the less stressed we are, the calmer we are, the greater adaptability and the greater intuition we have. But for me being very, very stressed and having very limited, intuitive capacity or adaptive capacity meant that I wasn’t open to those suggestions.

Therefore what happens is the plight that humanities on, unfortunately, is the more stressed we are. Unfortunately, the more stress we have less adaptive capacity and less intuitive capacity. o I had to get to a breaking point for nature, the universe’s form of intelligence, of guiding mechanisms to make things bad enough that I would eventually wake up and listen to what I was supposed to be listening to. Unfortunately, we don’t want to get to that point collectively or individually, but more often than not surprisingly we do.

Krystal Jakosky: Yeah. We push ourselves to the point where we have to change. If we don’t change it’s that fork in the road where either you have to do something to make it better, or there’s just nothing else So what was the first thing that you noticed shifted for you when you started meditation and found someone that could take you through transcendental meditation?

Tom Cronin: The first week was actually really uncomfortable and it’s really healthy for people to hear this. I thought I was going to become a Zen monk, but the first week was very uncomfortable. I felt very unstable, I guess to some degree, a little bit unstable because there’s a lot changing, particularly on these deeper, more powerful meditation techniques, like TM, ORIC, meditation which is what I kind of call it these days, some sort of meditation. And, the first week is a little bit uncomfortable because you’ve got a lot going on Your body’s really starting to clear a lot of the stresses out. It’s a very powerful purging process of a lot of stress, so it can get a little bit uncomfortable. And that’s why it’s really important having a teacher or guide to mentor you through that process.

A lot of people kind of give up when they’re going through some stress clearing, because the thing with meditation is that it doesn’t just put peace and calm over the top of your existing state. The existing state actually has to clear out because peace and calm are already inside you at a deeper level. And so what we’re doing is we’re clearing that stress, layers that the anomalies that have been accumulating in the system, and there’s a real organization. I could renovate if we’re renovating a house, there’s a lot of stuff that gets cleared out, right? The kitchen sink and the curtains and the carpet and the finish and blind. So a lot of things get thrown out to make the transformation. So that was what was happening for me. But the biggest thing that I really noticed, which was phenomenal, as I started sleeping and I had chronic insomnia.

And look, this is very science-based. It’s not where we were. It’s really just simply science-based. If we get our body out of the sympathetic nervous system state, which is the stress response, and we move our body into the parasympathetic nervous system, which is the peace response. We have these two mechanisms or nervous system states. We oscillate in and out for very good reasons. If we’re in a stress response, it’s because it’s a dangerous situation. Our body needs to survive at that moment. Your body’s trying to protect you by keeping you awake. So it pumps cortisol and adrenaline into your system. It reduces the melatonin, which is biochemical to enable us to sleep. So I had very little melatonin in my system because I was continuously in the sympathetic. Another system state, that meditation gets this very quickly into the parasympathetic. What started to happen was I was producing a lot of melatonin because my body was trying to correct the imbalance of the huge amount of fatigue that was built up. And so being able to fall asleep was phenomenal in the first week or two, I was like, wow, this is amazing. I could fall asleep within minutes. Me hitting the pillow was quite remarkable.

Krystal Jakosky: That’s amazing. They’re just these little things that you don’t realize are an issue until they’re not an issue anymore. It’s like when you’re starting to lose weight and magically, you can walk up those stairs and you’re not as winded. And you’re like, oh, I didn’t realize that 10 pounds did that to me. Or I didn’t realize that the stress caused me not to sleep or that I wasn’t able to digest my food. And so I was really struggling that way. So I love that sleep is the first thing that your body said, oh, yes, please. We’re ready to do that. You mentioned the different types of meditation that you did research on, to understand meditation and that you came across different types of meditation. Can you go into that a little bit?

Tom Cronin: I went to many different classes. My stylist did research and make sure I’m choosing the best thing. If I’m going to buy a car. I do a lot of research into cars. When we got a dog I researched for a year on which type of dog was going to be the best dog to have in our house. I did that with meditation. I went to a lot of different centers and tried a lot of different practices and there were crystal bowls and there was chakra clearing, and there were all sorts of, different stuff aisles that I, know, dabbled with. But I just found that I wasn’t quite getting the immediate benefit that I was hoping for.
I know meditation’s meant to be a long investment, but one thing that I’ve learned over time, particularly now that I’ve been teaching this for many, many years, and particularly with the lifestyles that we’ve credit here in this world is we’ve created very charming lifestyles. We like to have a lot of pleasure in our life. We have a lot of pleasure in our life and if something’s not charming and blissful and enjoyable, it’s very hard for us to prioritize that or make it a preference over all the other preferences that we’ve got in our day. I’ve found this team technique to have greater, tangible, and quantifiable benefits and also pleasure in the experience. It was very, blissful, it wasn’t like a lot of work and it wasn’t hard. I didn’t have to focus and concentrate and try and get my mind or body to do something I didn’t want to do. For me, that was the power of the mantra that the mantras are a very charming proposition for the mind. Therefore it’s a very effortless process. Whereas if I try to tell my mind to not think, then that requires a lot of effort, and it requires the mind to resist doing its natural tendency, which is to think, and there’s conflict and it’s uncomfortable. So we don’t want conflict. And we don’t want discomfort.

Krystal Jakosky: You founded the stillness project. You want to inspire people to meditate. How did you go from, I’m gonna meditate and now I can sleep, to everyone needs this, and I’m going to bring it out to the world. How did that come about?

Tom Cronin: The change for me was significant very quickly. I noticed profound shifts. Within weeks the anxiety, the depression, and a lot of the addictions had dropped away. And I went back to work just to cut a long story short. I went back into my job as a broker. I’ve been there for 10 years when I had the breakdown. And I went back into the same seat with the same clients and the same company for 16 more years. So the job itself wasn’t a stressful thing. It was my response to the job that was determining whether it was stressful. And this is the thing we’ve got to understand about life, self-life, present circumstances, and situations that need the stressful or not. It’s just how we respond to them, that will determine whether we have a stress response or not. When I learned this technique and had these significant changes and managed to function very well in that industry and in that career, I just felt this, why is the world not doing this?

I felt this incredible passion to make a difference in people’s lives. Because I could see how much it simply changed my life. Like we said, if you are on medication, continue on and consult your doctors. But one thing I found was that if we’re taking tablets to try to make a very stressful system to not have stress responses that are naturally going to happen in that stress system, then it’s putting a bandaid on cancer. We’re just not going to get to the root cause of the problem. I know some people have certainly some deeper challenges that they have to overcome. But for a lot of cases, what I’ve found was, and I’ve been working with a lot of clients here, we need to get the body out of that stressed response.

And when we do that, we see phenomenal changes happen. Then we can address things because the body’s operating in a much more orderly way. I really wanted to get the science and the technique into the households of the world. Now there was a bit of a problem here because traditionally the technique was only taught in a traditional way. It was taught thousands and thousands of years ago pre-internet and so it was only ever taught in person. You couldn’t teach it on zoom. You couldn’t teach it on Skype. You couldn’t teach it in a prerecorded online program because it never was done. So I found that I had this dilemma where there’s the tradition that was taught in a particular way. It was always that way. Then we had technology that allowed us to reach the masses. I was in this conundrum of do I break this tradition with some respect and try to get it into a digital format. That’s what I decided to do. We created an online version of that program. Now we’ve got people all over the world that are able to access it, which is a big phenomenon that we weren’t sure how it was gonna play out. And that’s what the stillers project was all about.

Krystal Jakosky: So what are some of the myths or beliefs that you’ve encountered when people say, oh, I can’t meditate.

Tom Cronin: A lot of people think that meditation is an experience. That it is going to be all Zen, like, and they’re going to have no thoughts and it’s going to be them sitting in some Buddhist-like pose for 15, 20, 30 minutes. That’s not what meditation is. There are states we can get into overtime when our system is very clear of the stress that allows us and enables us to sit in. What’s called a state of deep stillness. But for us, we start with a lot of stress in our system. We’re going to get continuously bombed down. That bumping out is literally the stress clearing out of the system. Our vessel plays a big part in meditation. A lot of people don’t realize this, and this is just one of the myths that I want to break the stigma that’s associated with meditation is that it should be completely still with no thoughts. It’s like you said, thoughts will come and you’ll have body sensations. You’ll have thoughts in your mind. We take it as it comes. And we know that this is an ongoing process. So just helping people have a better appreciation of the process and acceptance of the process rather than attachment to a particular experience.

Krystal Jakosky: If someone says to you, I don’t have the time to meditate. What’s your response.

Tom Cronin: We have 24 hours in a day and each hour has three portions of 20 minutes. What do we do with those 72, 20-minute pieces of pie? Do we allocate our time and attention to finding fulfillment? That’s whether we’re cleaning the bathroom floor, whether we’re sleeping, going to the gym, listening to a podcast, scrolling through Instagram, or going to work. Every single action is motivated by the same thing and that’s to find fulfillment. I realized, myself included, when the teacher said, we highly recommend you meditate twice a day. Once in the morning, once in the afternoon for 20 minutes, I nearly fell off the chair. I thought, there’s no way I could do that. But the science stood up and showed that if I did meditate twice a day for 20 minutes, I would be literally much happier. It was clear as day that this was what was supposed to happen.

We have all heard of enlightened monks, which, blissfully, know enchanted and full of almost an ecstasy of love. Here I was contemplating whether I wanted to keep living in life, suffering from anxiety, depression, and seeing therapists. So I obviously wasn’t allocating my time, my 24 hours, my 72 portions of 20 minutes to successfully find fulfillment, because I wasn’t very fulfilled. So I needed to change. What I did was assess my 72, 20-minute pieces of pie and realized that I could keep doing what I was doing with the other 70, if I just took two out and parked them on the side for meditation. And I thought, at least the one thing I could do was do the research. The science said that I would be happier, but I needed to find that out myself. What I say to people is you do your research, learn to meditate, do two out of 72, 20-minute pieces of pie, and put them into meditation. I can assure you within six months you will actually be a lot happier, calmer, and healthier. And if that’s not where you are now, then maybe look at a turn. And if you are there already, now, then just keep doing what you’re doing.

Krystal Jakosky: I have this poster on my bathroom wall that says, are you happy? Yes or no, if you’re not, what do you want to change? And if you are great, keep doing what you’re doing, and keep going exactly where you’re at. I was watching one of your other videos and you actually talked about some tips on how to get into meditation, but then how to encourage yourself to continue doing that. I was just inspired by the whole concept of making it approachable.

Tom Cronin: I think meditation, we have a, a lot of people, some sort of resistant to it because we think of enlightened monks and we think of something very esoteric and something very far fetched. The first is to understand that this is just a very simple, scientific, lead-based, and, a validated technique that can make a huge difference in your life. We go to Instagram and scroll through our feeds or watch Netflix or go to the movies and do all the things that we do to find pleasure because we want to add value to our life. We’ve got to, firstly, start to realize that one of the great ways to add value to our life is to stop being distracted and to put time aside to go within. We don’t need large amounts of time, but just to find a window of time where we can prioritize and have a higher preference to stimulate ourselves and to put some time aside to just sit in a chair quietly and it doesn’t have to be complex.

It doesn’t have to be on some beautiful Hilltop in the Alps or something like that. Just simply, for me in a parked car. I pull my car over sometimes in between meetings, pulling into a side street and I’ll close my eyes and I’ll start meditating. In my lounge room, I’ve done it on trains. I’ve done it on park benches, anywhere we can close our eyes and feel safe and secure. I do recommend trying to find a teacher that’s qualified in the art of meditation. If that’s possible if you’ve got one in your area, really learning from someone that’s qualified in this space, I think learning the mechanics and deeper understanding about the techniques that you’re learning, whichever one that is, to shop and find a technique that works best for you.

Tom Cronin: There are many different techniques out there. I’ve chosen one that I teach and one that I use predominantly because I found the most effective. But what I say to my students in so many different ways you can learn to meditate and find one that resonates with you. When you find a technique that resonates with you find a teacher that resonates with you because there are different teachers in different traditions and different modalities. Some people get drawn to me in our modality. Some people get drawn to someone else. They might want a younger woman teaching them, or they want might an older woman teaching them, or they might want a, a different type of dude teaching them. So find a teacher that resonates with you. And then we don’t have to make it complex. It’s just sitting comfortably in a chair and letting go of your attachment and the story of the outside world and letting yourself start to explore it in a world. In a world of quietness.
Krystal Jakosky: I say that meditation is a little bit like a buffet. You get to pick and choose the things that absolutely work for you and fill you up and make you just love life and being right there. You get to leave the rest. Not everybody likes cherry cheesecake. Not that everybody loves ribs, but you find what works for you and you find that piece and it just transforms so many different things and makes life so much better for you start. Forget everybody else. Forget the external world and look at where you are and what you have the ability to do and change and shift because you’re amazing. We’re all amazing. I love it. Thank you so much for sharing with us. We’re big on self-care and we like people to explore something new. You obviously do meditation, which is a beautiful part of self-care. Is there another unique hobby or thing that you like to do for personal self-care?

Tom Cronin: I do a lot of saunas. I love to sweat in the sauna. So I do three saunas a week. I really find grounding with heavyweights for me personally, particularly. I’d like to ground myself by doing, a gym workout with weights, and building that muscle tissue and bone density. I find as I get older, it’s a really important part of my self-care and then stretching. I’m a big, big fan of yin yoga. So those three components with my meditation, then the saunas, the heavyweights at the gym. And then the yin yoga and the stretching in yoga is for me a beautiful combination of helping me stay young as I get older.

Krystal Jakosky: Nice. Thank you so much for sharing that with us. You guys check him out on Instagram. It’s at Tom Kronan and his website is www.tomkronan.com. And I’m telling you, the film that Tom produced is absolutely fantastic and it’s inspiring. You go watch it and just be inspired by yourself. The website for that is www.entertheportal.com. So thank you again for joining us this week and you guys come back next week because Tom is gonna take us through a guided meditation. We’re really excited to share that one with you. So thank you, Tom. And again, we’ll see you here next on Breathe In, Breathe Out.

I hope this moment of self-care and healing brought you some hope and peace. I’m @krystaljakosky on Instagram, Facebook, and YouTube and I hope you check us out and follow along for more content coming soon. I look forward to being with you again here on Breathe In, Breathe Out. Until next time, take care.